Maisarah - A Simple Life

Theories and Ideas

2012-02-02T00:18:00.001+08:00

Even if the morrow is barren of promises
Nothing shall forestall my return
To become the dew that quenches the land
To spare the sands, the seas, the skies
I offer thee this silent sacrifice.

I've been playing with a lot of theories and ideas these past two days. Theories and ideas that are turning my latest story's plot into something so complex, I had to write it down to see if it makes sense.
There are a lot of "What if"s running around in my head at the moment.
Like...
What if the hero is the one who is most imperfect out of them all?
What if the villains are the ones who are the perfect ones?
What if a failure defeats a success?
What if a small, tiny thing was changed?
What if the lines don't connect?
What if nothing makes sense, and nothing is logical?

So many theories running around in my head.
So many possibilities.
I think I'll be taking a while to fall asleep tonight, with the amount of thinking I'm doing.

Wise Words

2012-01-30T22:37:00.001+08:00

You shouldn't allow this sword to be stained with blood, Heiji. This sword is in the condition it is in now because it was used to protect you and even then it wasn't covered in blood. And I'm certain that your late brother wouldn't wish his sword to be now. The last thing people who loved us but are no longer here would ever wish for is revenge. And in their hearts I know that they're only praying for your happiness. I don't believe that anyone would be happy to see you stain your innocent hands with blood. Time will pass. And as you become an adult, these small hands will grow. When that happens, do not become a man who uses power to intimidate others like Shishio and his men. And do not be a fearful man, afraid to fight for what he believes in either, like the people of this village. Be a man like your elder brother who believed in you until the very end. I guarentee that you'll live a happy life, that I do.

-- Himura Kenshin a.k.a Hitokiri Battousai

Let's Mosey

2012-01-30T13:50:00.002+08:00

********676
ETA: 2 Days

******681
ETA: 12 Days

Let's mosey indeed.

Fun Stuff

2012-01-29T08:27:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 6AM and began typing until now. Oh, how fun this is.
It's slow-progressing, but I like the idea of having two new stories to work at the same time rather than having one new story and one nearly-finished one.
Of course, the nearly-finished one would always take priority, but now, I have two new ones and I can work on whichever suits my fancy.
Whether I want to work on reality or whether I want to work on fantasy. Both have their appeals.

Sometimes, you're just ready to say goodbye to a story you've been writing.
In my case, the nearly-finished one (which will insyaAllah be fully completed by tomorrow) was started six months ago.
...Six months ago. Wow. Has it been truly that long?
Six months it took to write a 250k story.
Six months since I've had my own laptop, are you kidding me? @__@
I'm so amazed.

By the way, I took a quiz on whether Genesis would date me or not.
Take in mind, the questions really couldn't be taken seriously at all.
But apparently, the results said that he adores me. So yeah. XD

Never Enough

2012-01-28T19:58:00.001+08:00

Being obsessed with something is difficult.
You just can never get enough at times, and unless if you're already so awesome and have lots of money, obsession can be a negative thing in your life.
It all depends on how you manage it.
In any case, I've ceased game-playing for now. Maybe next week.
I have a lot of things I'm waiting for next week. =D

Been reading and writing again.
FINALLY finished this one story I've been reading, that has a little less than 250k words.
I wonder what's up with me picking oh-so long stories to read recently.
I've paused on Lord of the Rings. Don't know when I'll start reading that again.
But I'm thinking of finishing another novel today, so maybe I'll start on Anthony Horowitz's Sherlock Holmes book (though I still dub his Diamond Brother series to be the best).
Or maybe read A Game of Thrones. I've always wanted to read that, and it's been waiting for me to pick it up.

I've started a new story.
...As if I haven't got enough stories to write right now.
So... that makes it five stories I'm currently working on, one which I'll try and finish tomorrow.

And as usual, the pile just keeps on growing with no sign of decreasing. For reading, writing, movies, anime, games, things I want to do, things I want to study, YOU NAME IT.

PS: I'd love to go to Japan.

Oh, If Only

2012-01-27T17:14:00.000+08:00

T____T

Unfortunately, when it comes to Genesis, the only one you can get are custom-made ones.

I hope Square Enix will release an official Genesis unit for Play Arts.

Pangkor Perfect

2012-01-25T22:07:00.001+08:00

A purely amazing time overall for three days and two nights at Pulau Pangkor.
Given the chance, I would definitely choose to do this again.
It's not something I would give up if I can turn back time and get the choice of not going, no matter how much of a pain it seemed at first. By the end of it, it was just amazing.
Having the best team members ever, working with them, walking by the shore at sunrise, explorace, sea-rafting, jungle-trekking, swimming, and just a heck of a lot more.
Though I survived on something close to two hours of sleep per night (with some naps in between if I was lucky), the food was awesome and I could still function well enough.
Tired as heck by the time we were on our way back though.

One thing I loved was that I could swim.
Only did so for an hour yesterday due to fatigue, but one hour all the same.
My body is now aching all over, tense muscles from head to toe.
I guess that happens when you leave swimming behind for too long and try to get back into it.
My dad taught me to swim at a very young age. I'm glad I can still remember how to.
Suddenly, I feel like buying a swimsuit and spending some time at UiTM's swimming pool next semester. ESPECIALLY if I manage to secure a room for next sem, though I love sleeping at my aunt's every once in a while.
Now that I will (hopefully) have no more compulsory co-curriculum activities, my time should be a bit more free. I can spend it with some swimming.

Another camp coming up in February for BTAR.
...And maybe a camp for PMDS after that? I really, really hope so.
We'll see what happens.

I'd love to curl up and sleep until tomorrow right now, but I don't want to.
I can, but I don't want to. XD
Instead, I'll play games for a bit. Got a lot of stuff to do tomorrow.
Toodles! 8D

Laguna Loire

2012-01-21T13:39:00.000+08:00

Kiros: Good work, Laguna.
Ward: Mission successful!
Kiros: Here, have a seat.
Ward: I didn't think you'd actually do it. Our popularity rating's gone up a point.
Kiros: Yeah, but you cut a pretty pitiful figure up there. I'd say you're about a -3 on the manliness scale.
Laguna: Say what you want!

Julia: May I?
Laguna: Aaaaa....
Julia: Did I interrupt anything?
Laguna: N-N-N-Not at all. P-Please, s-sit down. Oh man, oh man, it's really HER! What do I do!? Kiros? Ward? HELP! What do I say!? But man, she is pretty...
Squall: What's this guy thinking...?

Julia: Say... Would you like to talk somewhere private? I have a room here...
Laguna: I-In your room!?
Julia: Well... It's pretty hard to talk freely here. Everyone's listening in. If you'd like to, please come by. I've been wanting to talk to you. You don't want to?
Laguna: Of course I do!
Julia: Then I'll go ahead and wait for you. Ask for my room at the front desk, ok?
Laguna: Am I dreaming...?
Squall: This is a dream... This is a dream...
Laguna: No, this can't be a dream!
Squall: This is too weird to be a dream...
Laguna: Julia...? Wants to talk to me...?
Squall: ...He talks to himself too much...
Laguna: And just the two of us! Get it together Laguna...
Squall: Whatever

Selphie: I had such a nice dream!
Squall: I had a dream, too. It wasn't nice, though. I dreamt I was a moron...

One character I've forgotten that I once loved.
Though playing him, I can't help but love him all over again.
Laguna's story with Julia is one of my favourite love stories in Final Fantasy. It's... sad, but in a way, it's cute as well.
Then again, if things hadn't turned out the way it was, then there won't be much of Final Fantasy VIII at all.
I seriously hope one day, Square Enix will create a protagonist like him. A loveable moron.

Joys and Pain

2012-01-21T03:20:00.001+08:00

I've forgotten how amazingly different/complicated Final Fantasy VIII is compared to VII.
That applies for the battle system (minimal), way to get gil, SeeD levels, card games, and you know... @__@
I like it.

INSANITY!

2012-01-20T18:05:00.003+08:00

INSANITY!
PURE INSANITY, I'M TELLING YOU NOW!

A few short weeks ago, give or take a few days, my mom uncovered a box full of CDs, DVDs and a bunch of games for PC and PSX.
She told me that she would like to throw out those games and movies, and asked me to look through them in case if there was anything I want in there.
...I procrastinated. Didn't give it much thought, purely because those games, really, belonged to my brother. Even though he doesn't play them any longer. I'm no PC gamer, and when it comes to PlayStation, I'll go as far as old RPGs, Final Fantasy and little more than that.
Heck, I think the one and only PC game I've ever completed was Plants vs Zombies. And I couldn't even finish the second last extra.

Anyway, I don't know what came to me, but I decided to rummage through those boxes.
There are a few good RPGs there, complete with their manual books. It's too bad I'm not a PC gamer.
But what I discovered were old cables for PSX stored along with them.
I have (and I don't know why) two PSX's that cannot be used for the simple reason that the cables were missing.
So, out of boredom, I decided to hook the PSX to the TV. And switched the RCA cable to the one used by the PS2, and guess what?
IT WORKS. LIKE HECK DUDE, IT WORKS.

Just getting the PSX to work wouldn't have made my day. A PS2 can easily play games from the older versions.
No, what made my day is that the PSX can play my Final Fantasy VIII that I bought, what..? Thirteen years ago? Like jeez?
That game wasn't playable on my PS2 for some reason. And the Platinum version I received from a friend years later, since I moved from Sheffield, is missing its first CD and I have absolutely. no. idea. how. that. happened.
So I literally haven't played FFVIII for... four to five years.
But guess what?
I know what this holiday will consist of now. 8D

Wonderful

2012-01-20T08:48:00.001+08:00

Well Said

2012-01-19T03:37:00.000+08:00

The sector seven plate was dropped as a desperate act to crush a dissenting voice ShinRa could not control. While it was an act of retribution, it was also an act of censorship and of control by intimidation - it was to serve as a warning so that no one else would attempt the act again.

SOPA and PIPA, the proposed Internet Security acts currently in the US congress, also seek the ability to control the flow of information, to be able to control and censor the information online, and this could be extremely problematic for website reliant on information that originates from other sources, including and especially this one.

-- TheLifestream.NET

With the sector seven plate, at least AVALANCHE kept on fighting until the end. Heck, they went against Sephiroth, not just ShinRa. Hope we'll get some opposition like that as well - not extremists with bombs like AVALANCHE, but people who will not go down without at least a say in the matter. Jeez. The things people come up with in this world. I support Wikipedia and Google.

SOPA and PIPA

2012-01-18T21:56:00.000+08:00

I think both SOPA and PIPA are absolutely ridiculous.
What's the deal, dude?
Everyone will be cancelling their internet services if it passes.
The internet is one place where there is a higher chance of getting away from propaganda and trying to find out the truth from various sources.
Kinda makes you wonder what all the fuss with SOPA and PIPA are about.

Final Fantasy VII Remake

2012-01-17T01:40:00.000+08:00

Well, I think it's no surprise that I'm back writing about Final Fantasy VII. But then again, I can't help it, after finally going through all of the On the Way to a Smile stories which you can read here. But I don't think I'll talk about that. I find that the OtWtaS stories are much, much better than The Maiden Who Travels The Planet, both in terms of the story told and the significance it holds to our understanding of Final Fantasy Advent Children.

No, what I somewhat decided to touch on is the ongoing rumour/hopes/expectations that Square Enix will do a remake of Final Fantasy VII.

Alright, I get it. I played FFVII at a very young age myself - grew up with the compilation even, until now. And, like many, many fans out there, I too would just love to see the game transformed into a high-definition game like what we get with Crisis Core, Advent Children and Dirge of Cerberus. Like dude, how fun will it be to play the game again in high def? But then, there's also a certain charm to playing old RPGs, even with the heavy pixels and lack of voice-overs.

Before you continue reading, take note that this is my personal opinion and is in no way official to Square Enix or whatever else you can throw in my direction.

Though I would just love to see FFVII on high def (especially if they turn it into a full-length film like Advent Children), I also find myself shrinking away from the idea somewhat. For many FFVII fans, they'd read the novellas, play Dissidia and Kingdom Hearts, watch the animation of Before Crisis and On the Way to a Smile, perhaps all to get more from the characters and story they've grown to love from the game. When you get games like Crisis Core, or movies like Advent Children, there's that small thrill you get whenever you see a part of the original FFVII on high definition. Though I'll give it to Square Enix - there's not much of those, and even when you can find them, they're spread out heck equally it's unfair. You catch a glimpse of Cloud putting Aerith to rest in Advent Children, as well as brief moments of the battle with Sephiroth at the end of the game. You get a few flashes of Zack on the truck, talking to Cloud with the script from FFVII, in Crisis Core, as well as the starting sequence of FFVII after the ending credits of Crisis Core. You get a view of Lucrecia (FINALLY!) in Dirge of Cerberus. And they're all such short clips, lasting only mere seconds, of what had originally come from the FFVII game.

So the question that fans are asking, is Square Enix going to create a remake?

When it comes to the question of a sequel, we've already seen Genesis reawakening at the end of Dirge of Cerberus, and what he said definitely didn't seem like Dirge of Cerberus is an ending to the whole FFVII compilation. There are a whole load of possibilities for a sequel. In Case of Lifestream, we are told more or less that Sephiroth is able to come back as long as Cloud remembers him - he has placed Cloud as an anchor, and we all know that Jenova's cells will eventually come together for a Reunion again, no matter what. The possibility of having a story after Dirge of Cerberus is unending. But the question isn't whether Square Enix would make a sequel or not. It's whether they would create a remake.

It has already been said that a remake would be difficult to produce. The story, the locations, the whole load of considerations they needed to consider. An incredibly large number of fans are expecting a remake, and while that in itself is rather harmless, consider what would happen if the remake does not meet the expectations. Would Square Enix just do a remake, or would they tweak a bit of the story as well? We don't know. For all I know, there isn't going to be a remake.

FFVII is Square Enix's baby. It was released in 1997, and even now, we're still getting new stuff from Square Enix. Heck, they've just released a new novel less than a month ago at their website. Cloud Strife is a walking image of Square Enix all over Japan. And we know that there's more to come.

In my personal opinion, FFVII does not need a remake. The only thing it lacks is awesome graphics. The story has been told well enough that fans are still obsessing over learning more until now and the characters sure are memorable - go to an anime convention somewhere and you'll see a walking Cloud cosplayer most of the time. Sure, the Final Fantasy series has never truly let us down with the beauty of the cutscenes they can produce, but that's not exactly the selling point of a game, is it? It wasn't for Final Fantasy VII.

In terms of what Square Enix has been consistently doing, adding more stuff to the compilation in terms of movies, books, stories, games, whatever, I find them to be rather enjoyable. Sure, go on ahead, tell more stories about FFVII. There were a lot of unsolved mysteries and unexplored characters. But a remake? I think Square Enix could think of a lot more to offer than a remake that would just be for the sake of profit. Having said that, however, if they do decide to do a remake, then by all means do it. I'd love to see the game in high def. I just don't think it needs to be done.

Still, it's a nice idea to entertain. Imagine the whole of FFVII in high definition. WHERE TO START TALKING ABOUT THAT?

Part 3 - DONE!

2012-01-16T21:07:00.002+08:00

Alhamdulillah.
Finally, after all the hard work, the effort, the laughs, joys - Part 3 is finally over.
I'm actually very sad to see it go. I loved Part 3. I think it's just the absolute best four months yet since the start of the degree.
But I'm also glad that it's over. We'll be learning a whole load of new things in a month and a half, and I am actually looking forward to it. After the well-deserved break, of course.

Some of the things that happened during Part 3:

J-FEST 2011
Launch of the Young Scriptor Club
Active participation in the ALS Speaker Team (and a lot of bonding tiemz with the members)
Moderately active involvement with APB activities (those little slips we had to do for the Mentor Mentee program was just epic)
Crisis Core (yes, yes XD)
Advent Children Complete
Battlestar Galactica (<3333)
New Sherlock Holmes
Cambridge Proficiency Test (results still unknown O_o)
JOHOR
NaNoWriMo
Epic writing (250k+ and still going!)
Some epic reading
New friends
New challenges
New laughs and memories
And a whole lot more!

It's been such an eventful semester, seriously. And I enjoyed every. single. moment.
Even when I sometimes felt like tearing my hair out with all the work that needed to be done.
It was fun. And because so much happened, I'm glad it ended the way it did - not empty.

So, what shall I do tonight?
For starters, my room needs tidying. Need to put away all the old notes, look through what I can use and what I no longer need.
Maybe a bit of writing later tonight. And a little bit of reading if I can manage it afterwards.
A bit of research with some gadgets here and there.
I still feel rather detached from my body at the moment.

IQ Test

2012-01-11T22:18:00.003+08:00

I scored 123.
Nice to know.

Back to studying.

Distant Dreams

2012-01-11T21:32:00.002+08:00

One of my greatest desires (until now, really) is to be a CGI artist when I grow up.
Working for a company that deals with computer graphics and animation would just be... phenomenal.
I love the Final Fantasy series, and love watching their CGI cutscenes, for the simple reason that I tend to try to figure out just how. the. heck. on. earth. they manage to create such stunning images with computers.
I wish I have that capability. Seriously.
Unfortunately, my capabilities with computers and image-editing softwares only go so far.
I've not even tried 3D imaging softwares like Maya, which has been mentioned (though I don't know whether it's true or not) to be the software used for the production of Advent Children.
I suppose this is just a faraway dream and that I can only indulge myself with watching the end product without being part of the production.

Genesis's rapier. Look at how amazingly pretty the hilt is.

I want that sword.

If only I'm able to create such beautiful images.
Then again, perhaps I have a different role to play in life.
My degree certainly doesn't come with producing these things. XD
If they had, I would say my workload for Dr. O's class would be... unbearable.
Suddenly, I feel that my skillz are those of an absolute n00b.
Oh, SquareEnix. If only, if only.

Pacific Wind

2012-01-11T13:53:00.003+08:00

An artist I'm starting to grow to like, though this song is just epic.
It's one of the few songs I can listen to while I'm still sitting here, studying for exams.
I can't wait for this time, 16th January.
Oh, Marketing. How terribly difficult I find you to be.

It's been raining continuously.
Of course, that makes me abnormally happy. The landing where I've been spending most of my time at is just cold like heck.
Which, for studying, helps a lot even though sleeping at this sort of weather would have been enjoyable.
Unfortunately, I'm a student who needs to score high.
Let's continue.

220300

2012-01-10T18:06:00.002+08:00

One of the most epic songs in Crisis Core.
I find that Crisis Core's soundtrack is just absolutely amazing. Better than Advent Children by miles. And Dirge of Cerberus has no chance of even competing against it.
This track, this long, long, nearly 9-minute track, is one of my favourites out of the Crisis Core OST.
Skip to 2:20 to 3:00 and that's my favourite part in the entire album.
I listened to the whole soundtrack today while writing notes, trying to figure out what the name of the track is.
Then read the comments on YouTube and finally found out (though I had suspected) that it's actually The Price of Freedom.
It wasn't recognisable because The Price of Freedom is played with the violins and guitar and 2:20 to 3:00 was more upbeat, but I wished Kazuhiko Toyama had written a separate track for it. It's simply amazing, capable of motivating just about anyone who has (and probably hasn't) played the game into doing something for the world.
Most fans would agree that 2:20 to 3:00 is the best part of all.

Madness

2012-01-10T12:14:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, I wonder what's gotten into me.
Sometimes, I wonder if there's another self lurking inside my brain.
I have just committed an act of madness that has left me feeling giddy with excitement.

Now to wait for that package to arrive.
EHEHEHE.

Happy Day Happy Mai

2012-01-09T16:36:00.001+08:00

I bought a skipping rope two days ago.
Do you know how absolutely fun skipping is? XD It was one of my favourite things to do as a child, though NOTHING can beat skating and biking.
When I saw that skipping rope in the shop, calling out to me to tell me to buy it, I just couldn't resist.
It's been years since I've skipped. Last time must be during those gymnastic workouts where I'd do 100 jumps flat multiple times each session.
And I still wonder why I'm not stable with my feet. T__T
But at least I can start skipping again. I need to stop feeling tired all the time.
I used to feel so fresh and full with energy back then. T__T Then again, back then, I walk at least half an hour every day and was involved with gymnastics and the trampoline, and almost weekly sessions of badminton with Mas and Daniel (Alex occasionally as well).
Now?
HAHAHA. Now I have an awesome motorbike that doesn't require me to walk. Though I've just brought home my tennis gear earlier. I need to start exercising again. Feeling tired all the time is just... well, tiring.

Today has been a good day.
Despite waking up far, far, far too late for an exam morning, today was a good day.
Most of the traffic lights turned green just as I approached.
The exam paper was fun, and I went out with more than an hour to spare.

Best part of all?
I've found my Final Fantasy games. <33333
I FOUND THEM, DARN IT, I FOUND THEM.
After so long! I'm wiping tears of pure joy from my eyes.

Today is, seriously, such a good day.

Giddy

2012-01-08T22:50:00.004+08:00

Sometimes, it's nice to be wrong.
Looks like I can get those new books I want after all.

Sherlock Holmes

2012-01-08T21:49:00.002+08:00

Sherlock Holmes was awesome.
Seriously, it was awesome. Highly enjoyable, though in a very different way to how I enjoy Jeremy Brett's acting.
Watching the film made me want to read all sixty stories and watch the whole Granada series again.
I might, during this holiday that'll come to me (hopefully) in two weeks.
I have a list of stuff I want to do come the holidays. I actually can't wait for it. Not only have I piled up the stuff to do, I've been starting to work on it as well.

I know I've given a small list of the stuff I want to achieve in 2012 (that doesn't nearly justify what I really want to do), but here's the list of the stuff I want to do during the holidays:

Get started on (if not finish in the process) reading Lord of the Rings.
Tackle the whole load of stories on the web that I have now bookmarked on Firefox.
Finish writing my story. The one that is now getting dangerously close to hitting 250k (wrote around 1.5k yesterday).
Get started on the new story I've currently devised and worked on.
Get round to reading these titles (in no particular order): Game of Thrones, War of the Worlds, Stephen Baxter.
Actually start looking up tutorials and videos on how to use Adobe After Effects. Maybe master it as well? It certainly seems like a heck awesome software to try out.
Secret Resolution #1 = Keyword "improve"
Secret Resolution #2 = Keyword "work"
Secret Resolution #3 = Keyword "discover"

I know, I know.
There seems to be a whole load of stuff concerning fictional materials on the list. A whole load of reading, a whole load of writing.
What can I say? My passion for reading has come to me again as of late. Today I managed to read, at the very least, around 35k.
Now I understand why Mr. Case say I devour books.

The PLANET, Man!

2012-01-08T07:13:00.000+08:00

I wish I could have written a non-Final Fantasy related post for today.
Seriously, I wish I could. But after reading The Maiden Who Crossed the Planet (Hoshi wo Meguru Miko), I have no choice but to write something about that here. XD
To those who haven't read the novella, there's a spoiler below. So better look away now, unless if you don't mind it.
Maybe I'll write a non-FF post later. Maybe I'll complain about exams or this cold morning instead. O_o
I dunnae. But I'll still write about Final Fantasy.

The Maiden Who Crossed the Planet is a novella that has been written by Benny Matsuyama under the watchful eyes of Square Enix. He had been commissioned to write the story, which probably means that it's an established, official book.
I know some fans believe that it isn't. And I, like them, up to a degree, will also not take the story too seriously, or believe it as being truly and wholly canon.
I'll skip the whole thing about whether it was well-written or not.
It's a novella. Telling the story of Aerith after she returned to the Lifestream following her death. There's a LOT of things going on, and it was all explained in something just above 11,000 words. I'll say no more about that.

But yeah.
In the novella, we got quite a good insight on the role Aerith played in the game.
Before this, I've always had the belief that Aerith's death had been for nothing, but now I'm thankful to believe that that wasn't the case. Aerith died while praying for the White Materia to release Holy and save the planet. But Holy was oppressed by Sephiroth, and when Cloud defeated Sephiroth and Meteor was about to strike Midgar, Holy came.
Only Holy was too late. And couldn't stop Meteor.
From there, I thought, "Well, Aerith would have died for nothing then" and kept that thought for a while. Because in the end, it was the Lifestream that stopped Meteor, not Holy.
But in The Maiden Who Travels the Planet, we see Aerith interacting with the various people who had died in the game. And when Holy was oppressed, she had called out to the consciousness of those in the Lifestream and together, they went as the Lifestream to save the planet. Among these were Zack Fair and Jessie, Biggs and Wedge from AVALANCHE.

One thing I find to be absolutely heartbreaking was that in the book, Aerith said that she loved Cloud more than she loved Zack.
To me, that's just... T___T Sure, it was once said that in terms of romance, it probably have worked a lot better between Aerith and Cloud, but still.
Zack loved Aerith. Loved her until the end, and was going to return to Midgar, to her, after being experimented on for four years.
...But Aerith was surprised to see Zack in the Lifestream. She hadn't thought he had died, which is strange, her being a Cetra and all. It's like she should have known, but maybe she was deluding herself.
Alright, I'll give it to her. Zack disappeared without trace. For almost five years. And she knew nothing. She lost him, didn't know where he was, met Cloud, fell in love with him, and found that her feelings with him was more than she felt for Zack. Only to discover, after death, what had truly happened.
In some way, I wish Aerith fell in love with Zack again after Meteor. In the Lifestream. I'd like to have that thought, especially considering the number of times we met Aerith in Advent Children, and Zack always seemed to be near her.

"Hey Aerith, did you see Cloud's finishing?" Zack guided his energy into the second wave as Meteor was thrown back losing its force. "That was one my sword techniques too. Doesn't it make you fall in love again?"

That quote above was in the last chapter, the last scene, of The Maiden Who Traveled the Planet.
And it just tore my heart, seriously.

A part of me believes that maybe Aerith held a small bitterness for Zack for disappearing on her.
But I think she still loved him, truly. She still wore pink and wore her trademark pink ribbon, which was originally bought from Zack, until the day she died.
I'm currently reading through the On the Way to a Smile stories.
There are some other things I want to talk about. About Genesis, especially, and the whole load of possibilities that I now believe there are with his character.
But well. I think that's enough Final Fantasy for a while. XD Maybe. I sound so obsessed whenever I look at this blog. It's just full. The thing is, I don't feel like writing anything else.

Oh well.
Watching Sherlock Holmes later today.
We went yesterday, but there was no noon ticket. So we bought them for today.
It'll be nice to watch something apart from Final Fantasy for once.

I opened my Sherlock Holmes book yesterday and skipped to my favourite part of the whole 60 stories. It's the scene from The Three Garridebs, my favourite Sherlock Holmes story of all time.
I have three Sherlock Holmes books. Or... HAD.
One is an old-ish book, The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes.
The other, the one I looked at yesterday, was the complete Sherlock Holmes short-story collection (all 56 of them in one book) with the original illustrations from the Strand Magazine, mostly illustrated by Sidney Paget. This copy of SH is my most precious.
The last one, the one that someone borrowed from me (and I haven't seen the book since) is the Complete Sherlock Holmes. All 56 short stories plus the four novels in one book.
True, I loved that book. >_> I liked the thin paper that you get from Penguin books. But maybe, just maybe, I'll let go of it and get a new copy. We'll see.
Anyway, just for the kicks, my favourite scene from The Three Garridebs:

Clearly our moment had come. Holmes touched my wrist as a signal, and together we stole across to the open trap-door. Gently as we moved, however, the old floor must have creaked under our feet, for the head of our American, peering anxiously round, emerged suddenly from the open space. His face turned upon us with a glare of baffled rage, which gradually softened into a rather shamefaced grin as he realized that two pistols were pointed at his head.

“Well, well!” said he coolly as he scrambled to the surface. “I guess you have been one too many for me, Mr. Holmes. Saw through my game, I suppose, and played me for a sucker from the first. Well, sir, I hand it to you; you have me beat and– –”

In an instant he had whisked out a revolver from his breast and had fired two shots. I felt a sudden hot sear as if a red-hot iron had been pressed to my thigh. There was a crash as Holmes’s pistol came down on the man’s head. I had a vision of him sprawling upon the floor with blood running down his face while Holmes rummaged him for weapons. Then my friend’s wiry arms were round me, and he was leading me to a chair.

“You’re not hurt, Watson? For God’s sake, say that you are not hurt!”

It was worth a wound – it was worth many wounds – to know the depth of loyalty and love which lay behind that cold mask. The clear, hard eyes were dimmed for a moment, and the firm lips were shaking. For the one and only time I caught a glimpse of a great heart as well as of a great brain. All my years of humble but single-minded service culminated in that moment of revelation.

“It’s nothing, Holmes. It’s a mere scratch.”

He had ripped up my trousers with his pocket-knife.

“You are right,” he cried with an immense sigh of relief. “It is quite superficial.” His face set like flint as he glared at our prisoner, who was sitting up with a dazed face. “By the Lord, it is as well for you. If you had killed Watson, you would not have got out of this room alive. Now, sir, what have you to say for yourself?” 

<3333

SO EPIC DUDE

2012-01-04T22:38:00.000+08:00

First paper for finals coming up tomorrow!
I have to say, I'm giving it a little less thought than I should. At least right now. I'll study a bit later.
Watched The Lazarus Project earlier, and loved it.
I loved the idea behind it. I'm a sucker for stories where you have someone's life being unfairly manipulated. Not because I love what happened to the character, I just liked the idea and exploration on how far we are really in control over our lives.
The ending was nice. Made me a little teary-eyed, that darn film did.

I've gotten my hands on the complete version of Final Fantasy Advent Children.
Like finally, dude. And skipped all the parts to watch the battle between Cloud and Sephiroth.
It sure is a heck of a lot more awesome than the original Advent Children.
Now I have both. 8D
The part where Zack came in really made me teary-eyed though.
Oh Zack, how I wanted to cry over your death one too many times.

Sephiroth: What is the most important thing for you? Will you grant me the pleasure of taking it away?
Zack: If it were me, I wouldn't be throwing in the towel yet! No matter how hopeless the situation seemed. Embrace your dreams! And... never, ever let go of your pride as a SOLDIER. Well, you weren't able to become a SOLDIER. But it's a matter of heart, anyway!
Cloud: Zack...
Zack: Need me to lend a hand?
Cloud: [shakes head]
Zack: I mean, you kicked his ass once, right? It's a piece of cake!
Cloud: Right.
Zack: Don't you ever forget again...
Cloud: ...that I'm... your living legacy.

The tears came right there. And now I haz a sad. And a proud.
Been reading up some more stuff about Genesis earlier. and have just watched the official video of Gackt's performance of Redemption.
It amused me that he was wearing Genesis's outfit. Then again, why shouldn't he? XD
...I'll study now. Yes. Yes, I shall.

Tired Eyes Are Tired

2012-01-03T02:00:00.001+08:00

Fletcher was not going to laugh at the sight of his men edging back from a scientist they could break like a toothpick. Really.

Oh jeez, I need to snap myself out of this obsession.
Problem is, it's easier said than done.
The amount of things I feel like writing and doing right now.
Jeez.

Imagine having a friend who could laugh and joke even when your life hangs on the line.
That sort of sense of humour would be something. Just something.
How envious I am.

Joys and Choices

2012-01-02T22:12:00.001+08:00

We all make choices in life, and boy oh joy, we have to live with those choices.
Me? I made a choice today. I made a choice to ditch work and studying in exchange for writing out that one long overdue chapter of mine.
After having writer's block for about a month, I sat down and wrote the full 10k. TAKE THAT MUSE!
The end of the story is nigh, though I have many more that I wish to write. That's the fun thing about being a writer, I suppose. The stories just never end.
I'm just glad that chapter isn't any more overdue than it already is.

In any case, I also have the choice on whether I want to study or not tonight.
I'll be in Shah Alam tomorrow. Which means there's little to no chance of studying, but absolutely a heck of a lot of chances that Dr O's work will be tackled.
I'll take that chance. I've made that choice.
Will probably study just a little more tonight, but there's this novel I'm reading and I'm already half-way through.
Well, it's not quite a novel, I guess. A novella. A little over 40k.
Just got a little less than half-way to finish it, and I want to tonight.

I have two choices. Read until it's finished and go to sleep.
Study and read it and go to sleep - sacrifice a bit of sleep for it.
Study and forget about the story for a while.

I'm leaning more towards the second and I've already ditched the first choice. XD

By the way, there are some songs that finally put me in the mood to writing.
I'll name one of them (one of my current obsessions): "It's My Life" by Bon Jovi. Heck yeah.

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T20:51:00.001+08:00

2012 is finally here, and some people see it as a new start, a new hope, new whatever.
I didn't go and watch the fireworks last night. Except from the balcony near my room, which were quite awesome in its own way.
But in any case, I don't deem the start of this new year as having any special meaning to me. Life still goes on, I'm still struggling with some Director work for Dr. O that my group mates keep on sending me via e-mail. I still need to study for TITAS. I still need to sit for my finals. I still have a chapter that is long, long overdue.
I still have a lot of things that needs to be done, things that I could have completed in 2011.
But oh well.

One thing for sure, I know I'll keep on struggling for the next few weeks, remembering to write 2012 instead of 2011 whenever I put dates down for something.
Ah, the joys of having habits in life.

My last few moments of 2011?
Well, they were spent at the landing of my house, me sitting with my laptop with my headphones on.
Facebook was open, and I was, pretty much as usual, talking absolute nonsense on it with Shep. Amin joined us later on.
And I was also watching this one video of Crisis Core when the clock struck 12:00AM.
It wasn't the most exciting start to a new year, but heck, I definitely enjoyed it.

New year, new tooth as well, apparently.
It's been growing for a few months now, and I wonder how long it'll take to come out. Like really come out. XD
I know it'll pain me for the next few days. Then it'll disappear for a few long weeks before coming back again. Ah, the wonders.

Anyway, as a new year present.
A graphic I did out of pure randomness. Feel free to use it in any way you wish:

Happy New Year

Random Quiz, Random Results

2011-12-31T19:27:00.000+08:00

Just did a quiz out of random boredom. One of those "Which Final Fantasy VII characters fits your personality?"
Apparently, we got the choice of getting any one of these: Zack Fair, Angeal Hewley, Genesis Rhapsodos, Sephiroth Crescent, Aerith Gainsborough, Cloud Strife, Tseng, Tifa Lockheart, Barret Wallace, Cid Highwind, Yuffie Kisaragi, Vincent Valentine, Reno, Rude or Rufus ShinRa. I'm surprise Red XIII and Cait Sith aren't there.
But anyway, of course I was rooting for Genesis. I love him, seriously, even though I know I'm not much like him in terms of how dramatic we can get. He tops me off.
But what I got was actually one of the characters I admire the most (if not THE most admirable character ever).
Apparently, I'm included in the small 9% who got him.

I am now extremely giddy.

Insanely Depressed

2011-12-31T18:19:00.000+08:00

From: Kunsel
Subject: Welcome back
'So you got your head on right finally? That's good news, man. I know what you're thinking, and don't worry about it. Zack wasn't the sort of guy to get upset about something like that. I wonder how you got all of his memories, though. I have a theory that it's related to how Genesis made all those copies back during the big desertion. Sorry I didn't say anything sooner. I didn't think you'd believe me.'

It made a lot more sense, now. The first message Kunsel had sent him. How he knew Aeris. Why he helped him. All along, he'd been teaching him things any SOLDIER should have known, filling the gaps in his knowledge that Zack's stolen memories hadn't been able to. He wondered if the rest of Avalanche would have so readily believed him to truly be ex-SOLDIER if it weren't for Kunsel's steady guidance.

From: Kunsel
Subject: By the way
'The promise still stands. We'll go out for drinks when this is all over. I'd like to meet the real Cloud Strife.'

---

From: Cloud
Subject: (none)
'Kunsel. We won. But you probably already know all about it, right?'

From: Cloud
Subject: (none)
'ShinRa's gone, and Sephiroth's been defeated. A promise is a promise. We can finally go have those drinks. Tifa's going to open up a new Seventh Heaven. You should drop by.'

From: Cloud
Subject: (none)
'Haven't heard from you. Did you make it out of Midgar okay?'

From: Cloud
Subject: (none)
'…Kunsel?'

I am depressed. I am so depressed it's amazing.
Was depressed over remembering various Battlestar Galactica scenes earlier, but then I read this. I JUST HAD TO GO AND READ THIS. This short part of what is a near-10k piece.
Oh jeez, I have tears in my eyes. TEARS. TEARS, I'm telling you.
I'm so depressed. T__T

Resolutions, AGAIN?

2011-12-31T07:29:00.000+08:00

It's the 31st December! Tomorrow will be the start of 2012!
Jeez, look at how fast the year has gone by. Then again, if I think back to what had happened in the early months of this year, I'd say this year has been an incredibly long year.
So I guess I'm not at all sad to say goodbye to 2011. A lot has happened, and I have learned a lot as well.
So I guess there are quite a few things I can say to 2011.

First off, 2011, you have given me great friends this year. Seniors, juniors, strangers. You've given me so many friends this year, and absolutely no enemies (at least on my part) so for that, I will need to thank you. Truly, meeting the people I met this year and getting close to those around me has been a real blast. Something I wouldn't trade with, for sure.

Love? You've taught me the meaning of experience and love. I have met the individuals in my life who I love more than the rest, and I know who I will stick by. You've given me new role models who I can follow in this life and you've also shown me how wonderful life is when you stop focusing on just one thing. There are a lot of things that make up this "life" we live in, beyond just someone or something, and I'm glad I learned that.

Enjoyment, heck man, you've given me many. Newfound obsession with Final Fantasy and Gundam SEED is a start, but there's also Battlestar Galactica and many more. There was the flying fox we did earlier this year, there was the different activities we took part in. Man, there was J-FEST which is now one of my happiest memories. There's a lot. A lot.

Health? Couldn't ask for any better. Family? I miss Alif, wished we could have stayed longer for Hari Raya, but it's been amazing. Games? Well, I hope I can get Limbo to work soon, but there you go. Studies? The. most. frustrating. But I never regretted choosing the course I am doing now, so you guess what that means.

2011 New Year Resolutions

As usual, maintain my pointer for degree. Work to my hardest to try and get that package to do Masters under UiTM. Just to make sure I have that option open when I make my choice about career paths.
Drive constantly. Especially the car, not just the motorbike. Memorise the roads in Shah Alam and beyond so I won't get lost and I can be more independent and take my sisters out during the holidays. T___T
Make new friends, Make new friends, Make new friends. <3 Maintain good contact with old friends.
Never give up the passion for reading and writing.
Write weekly in this blog, at least. Heck, I love you, darling blog!
Become a better person. Especially in perceiving others.
Due to the "haram sebab ada riba" for PTPTN, try the hardest to get JPA. Insya-Allah, kalau niat baik, dipermudahkan.
Improve my BM (mother tongue). T____T I'm not joking.
Learn to sew many more things!

Alhamdulillah, achieved. But this semester will be tough. T__T Please pray for me and my friends, dearest readers! Goodness, finals are near.
Currently achieving, especially in regards to the roads in Shah Alam. XD
Never enough!
Achieved! 8D
Well, I don't think I managed this one (too lazy to check). But I wrote a lot more than I did last year.
Can never write "achieved" for this one. There's too much to learn.
Alhamdulillah. ;) I didn't get JPA, though.
...Debateable. I won't say I achieved this. Not at all.
Working on it!

Actually, I'm not going to write my new year resolutions here. Just because it's basically the same as last year's, but with just a few additions. So here you go, just for the kicks, some things I want to achieve in 2012:

Read all three Lord of the Rings books.
Fill up all three drawing blocks I have in my room, still untouched.
Continue writing. Endlessly.
Study hard, enjoy life.
Ride better, drive better.
Love life.

The End! The End!

2011-12-30T01:42:00.002+08:00

Oh gosh. Oh my goodness gosh heck man.
It's done! It's done! It's like... finally done! HEHEHEHEHE!
All's left is the presentation tomorrow, and hopefully there won't be anything else because you know WHAT, the work is finally done! XD
Man. I still dub TITAS as the killer subject this semester, but in terms of workload, Dr. O topped off all the rest.
Regardless, I have to say I absolutely loved his lessons. I am now much knowledgeable with multimedia softwares, especially with SwishMAX and Adobe Director.
Oh jeez. I feel as if I'm on a roll, as if I'm on a high. XD I hope the presentation tomorrow will go well. And I hope my classmates will all be alright as well.
There will be a small 'party' at my place after the presentation tomorrow. Can't wait for it. <33 It seems like almost ages ago since I've met my classmates as a whole. O_o

ANYWAY, I stayed at Shep's place last night. And finished watching Battlestar Galactica (like, finally dude).
Even as I'm typing this, I still have all the sads in the world after finishing the four epic seasons.
Quite honestly, I can say that if it weren't for the fact that Shep was there, most of the episodes in BSG would have reduced me into puddles of tears.
It. was. so. emotional. jeez.
I have all sorts of theories and thoughts going on in my head, but unfortunately no time to think them through. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe when I'm lying down waiting to fall asleep tonight. The problem with me is that I've been too exhausted lately. Put my head on a pillow and I'd be asleep in a few minutes. No time to think.
Anyway, it's the 30th December. There's two days, give or take a few hours, until the New Year.
While I don't celebrate New Year, I make it a habit to have New Year resolutions. I guess this time tomorrow, I'd be looking over my resolutions from last year and see what I have and haven't accomplished.

Can I just say I love the people I have in my life?
The ones who annoy me, the ones who love me, the ones who frustrate me, the ones who confuse me, the ones who cause me pain and suffering while being so darn loveable at the same time - honestly, I love the people around me right now. Not that I didn't before, but I'm starting to realise just how much I love them now.

I don't normally entertain .GIFs, but I'll just put it here for the lulz.
With hope that there's no more work for Dr. O after the presentation tomorrow!

Meet Helo from Kobol.

I know, we've been watching too much BSG.

But BSG was one of the few things that made it possible for us to complete this assignment, so there you go. <333

Shep Told Me To Do This

2011-12-27T22:29:00.000+08:00

Ah, the things I do to amuse myself at times. This particular quiz, however, is to satisfy Shep with her neverending list of things she always manages to find on the expanding world of the internet
Anyway, I am familiar with most of these fandoms. The only ones I don't know are Divergent, Game of Thrones, Mortal Instruments and Delirium - I know a fair bit for Dr. Who, Star Trek and Percy Jackson, otherwise, I'm very, very familiar with the rest of the fandoms.

Harry Potter:
So apparently I'm a Ravenclaw! Brains over everything, I can never ask for more. I wish Hermione was a Ravenclaw. I don't have the guts to be a Gryffindor, unfortunately.

Hunger Games:
A book I can't truly understand why people like, just because the idea behind it, for me, has been overused. But the book has been written with a lot of creativity which does, up to a degree, make up for the cliche behind the plot, but there you go. Anyway, District 5's industry is power. Foxface was from District 5, and was one of the last to die due to her cunningness and clever, clever, clever thinking. I actually liked Foxface. So yeah, go District 5.

Twilight:
Apparently, I sparkle in the sun. And have superhuman strength. And don't sleep at night. And attract people to love me so I can suck their blood. Yeah, that sums me up, I suppose.

Lord of the Rings:
Dwarf. You know, I wished they had named me an Elf or something. XD Especially because even female dwarves have beards, and that's just... horrible. But dwarves are great with metalwork and are proud creatures. Physically stronger than humans or elves (take that, Shep) but greedy. Meh.

Star Wars:
Hey, I'm in line with Jango Fett. I never knew I had it in me to become a mercenary. XD I'm far too emotional to pass as a Jedi.

Divergent:
Ah, a fandom I'm not familiar with! But anyway, apparently, the definition of Candor is:

1. the state or quality of being frank, open, and sincere in speech or expression; candidness.

2. freedom from bias; fairness; impartiality.

Oh, how this one makes me proud. XD

His Dark Materials:

This trilogy is actually quite amazing. I think I'll reread it again once the semester break starts, along with reading Lord of the Rings. Will is an awesome character, just incredible in his own way, and one of my favourites. Anyway, due to me being in Will's Oxford, I guess that means I live in reality, in this world, and not in some parallel world like Lyra's Oxford is. >_> Yippie.

Mortal Instruments:

A book that I know a lot of people have told me to read over the years, but never did. But the werewolves in this set does not have anything special for me to point out.

Percy Jackson:

This made me chortle. XD Best of both worlds.

Chronicles of Narnia:

Prince Caspian, I shall fight alongside thee!

Game of Thrones:

This is actually a book that I have on my to-read list once I have the time and budget to go and buy the books. But I am a Night's Watch. <33 Never knew guarding and patrol is a skill of mine, but there you go. I want to be a ranger.

Dr. Who:

This one really made me laugh. Daleks are so cute it's amazing. From Wikipedia: "The resulting creatures [Daleks] are a powerful race bent on universal conquest and domination, utterly without pity, compassion or remorse. Various storylines portray them as having had every emotion removed except hate, leaving them with a desire to purge the Universe of all non-Dalek life."

There you have it. Don't come near me, beware.

Delirium:

I shall need to read you. Seriously.

Star Trek:

Battlestar Galactica:

The fandom I am familiar with the latest. Alas, I'm just a lowly human. Not a Cylon. Not even half-Cylon. T_T But oh well. At least I'm in league with Lee Adama.

Appleseed Ex Machina

2011-12-27T20:30:00.001+08:00

Oh, man.
After rolling around and sleeping and reading and sleeping and reading, I finally decided to head out and endure the rain and then settle down with one of those Cool Blog drinks (with pearls) and watch Appleseed Ex Machina.
I tried watching it at Shep's house a few days ago, but my eyes couldn't handle the sleepiness and as a result, the fifteen minutes or so that I watched came up with less than moderate understanding of what was going on.
So I pulled my sister along with me this time, and have just finished watching it.
The verdict? It's not that bad after all.

Appleseed is about this one world (maybe our world, set far into the future) where mankind has just been through a non-nuclear war with devastating casualties. As a result, they transformed much of these casualties into bioroids - beings without feelings of anger or hatred, as a measure to stop more wars from happening. And there are cyborgs in this story, so those are the three major 'races', I suppose - human, bioroid and cyborg.
Anyway, I won't get into the plot. You can look it up yourself, or, better still, go and watch the film.
What I do want to say is that I'm horrified this film actually has a prequel, Appleseed. >_> Like way to go, watch the sequel first, why don't you.

Oh, Briareos, look at you. XD

I'll have to try and get my hands on the first movie.
Just for the lulz, I'll tell you my favourite character. It's not Deunan, it's not Briareos. Heck, it's not even Tereus.

Yoshitsune, you silly moo. <3

Just out of awesomeness, the voice actor for Deunan is also a seiyuu for InuYasha's Hakudoshi. It's actually pretty amazing to discover, knowing how evil Hakudoshi is. O_o Oh, the joys of being a voice actor.

Part-Time Jobs

2011-12-27T13:37:00.001+08:00

I feel like going out and looking for a job.
Crazy, I know. Haven't finished Dr. O's work yet. Haven't presented. Haven't studied. Haven't done the finals.
And here I am, wanting a job more than anything else. >_> I've been running the possibilities through my head for hours, and as a result, everything that I've been reading just doesn't go in my head. At least I'm reading, I suppose.
I've been considering Econsave, Giant, Jakel, Pos Malaysia, and a whole load of other places where I might work. I just want a job, seriously.

I love working. It's just that I love studying more.
If there's a life I can live that allows me to study forever without needing to look for a job, without needing to worry about expenses, I think I'd take it.
It would be so amazing to live a life like that. But alas, life is as how life has always been. You can never get everything you want out of it. That's heaven's role.

...You know what would be the most amazing thing of all?
To work in a library. That, above all, would make me the absolute happiest.

PS: I love Zack Fair. I'm sure you all know by now. I watched his appearance on Advent Children last night. And nearly cried. >_> Yes. Again.

Tangled and Tangled Again

2011-12-26T00:04:00.001+08:00

I've been yawning non-stop. Unbelievable, considering that I've compensated my lack of sleep these last four days with twelve hours earlier this morning. x__x
I sleep too much. Sometimes, I wish I am one of those people who cannot sleep at night. Sometimes.
Been playing around with Adobe Director today. Oh, Dr. O, how enjoyable your work is.
It's not that I hate the work we are given. It's just that they're too time-consuming, and I wish to do many other things with my time.
But anyway. Just finished up another lesson, and I think that's it for tonight.
For the past three hours, I've moved my laptop from the living area to the living room. Watched Tangled with my family while doing work. Slow progress, but a good break from hardcore work. I've got to get my hands on the movie. Mandy Moore's voice is lovely.

I'm still here though, on my self-proclaimed bean bag, typing this while watching Robin Hood with my dad. Though I'm still yawning every two minutes. So I don't know if I'll watch this movie until the end.

The First Half

2011-12-25T00:00:00.000+08:00

Wow.
Seriously, wow.
It's like... finally here. Or maybe I should say, it's finally over and done with. No more lessons this semester. Only the study break and then finals, and then... well, that's the end of semester three for you. Already half-way in getting a Bachelor degree. What happened to that little kid who looked forward to riding a bicycle outside with her friends? @__@

I have mixed feelings at the moment. On one hand, I'm happy. I've had quite late nights these past three days due to Dr. O's work (which still isn't done completely), and I am tired as heck. Arrived home in the evening and was whisked away to wash the cars very soon after. Like dude. XD But anyway, let me just say, it's finally the end of lessons. And I am both happy and sad about it at the same time.

I want to write more, but my battery is running low and I just can't be bothered to go to my room for the power cord. So I'll wish you all good night instead.
Sleep well.

Word of Advice

2011-12-20T21:41:00.000+08:00

Don't just do something.
Don't just be good at it.
Completely master the darn thing, and see how you'll feel after you've accomplished such a thing.

Running

2011-12-20T12:26:00.000+08:00

I tend to have mixed feelings about running.
Running, to me, is very tiring. I can sprint fairly fast, but I won't be able to keep up the pace for very long. The past asthma that I endured as a young child has, I believe, left permanent effects on my breathing, even if I don't need an inhaler.
Still, lately (by lately, I mean the past few months), I've come to love running even though I very, very rarely do it.
When I was trying for ROTU Navy and ROTU Army, I actually managed to get past the both 2.4km runs in record time. Which is surprising for me, because I never dubbed myself as a runner. But since that 2.4km, I've always had the urge to run again.
I remember how I was back in primary school. Always rather tall, and fairly light-weighted, I was selected for high-jumping for three consecutive years - or was it two? And I think when I was in Year 4, I beat this Year 6 girl in high-jumping. I felt so accomplished, but sadly no trophies, medals or certificates to show for it. They got lost over the years, or I never claimed them.
Anyway, high-jumping was my passion until I moved schools. I was selected for relay running in Year 6. Thing is, I wasn't exactly the most slender child at the age of twelve. I gained more weight during that age than I have since - my weight has always been constant, but not when I was twelve. If you want me to be honest, I'd say I was rather chubby. XD Maybe around 5kg more than I needed to be.
But anyway, I was selected for relay running, and due to my high-jumping, I have quite strong legs (funny thing, considering my balancing problems). This I discovered in later years when I joined gymnastics in high school. But let me just say, at the age of twelve, I ran slow. Very slow. It's like someone has put 'Chariots of Fire' as background music and asked me to run. >_>

Let's just say, the event was laughable. And put quite a major blow on my self-esteem, even though I could run faster than most of my peers in high school.
It took ROTU to make me love running again, and these past few weeks, like I mentioned before, I have this uncontrollable urge to run. I really want to run. Run far, run fast, run long.
I dreamt about running last night. I was in this competition and you weren't judged on how fast or how far you can run. You just need to run, for one full hour, around and around this track. Due to me watching Battlestar Galactica with Shep beforehand, there were actually Cylons in that dream. XD I think it was Sharon and Caprica Six, but I can't be certain. So my dream was made up of me feeling my soles slapping against the floor, running and running and running.
I wish that dream was true. Not because of the Cylons, but because I miss running.
It's sad I wasn't chosen as one of SAF's running team members. Maybe next time.

Solitude

2011-12-19T01:50:00.000+08:00

From time to time, moments of pure solidarity are quite... enjoyable.
Last semester, I seem to have spent most of my hours alone.
This sem, I seem to not be able to leave people alone... or vice versa.
I plan on spending this week with some solitary moments.
Not because I'm depressed or anything, it's just that I feel so... tranquil. For some reason, I feel so much at peace, which is surprising considering the mental state I am in now. XD I think and worry far too much for my own good.
Maybe, just maybe, this week will be the week where I can finally put on my running shoes and just run.
Let's hope it is. <3

In any case, I seemed to have gotten a few things done today.
And just now for that matter as well.
Ah, the joys. Despite my family being back home again, the night is eerily quiet. Quieter than last night.
I feel like there's no class to go to tomorrow. And like there's no work. And like there's no final exams waiting for me in three weeks.
Is it detachment affecting me again? It doesn't feel like it.
Later!

. . . . .

2011-12-18T18:49:00.001+08:00

Some of my Final Fantasy videos have gone missing. T__T
That, in addition to the still-missing FFVII and FFVIII.
Goodness, I haz the sads right now.

It's funny how wrong people's assumptions can be.
Or how wrong they seem to think they know someone.
Just saying.

I wanna ask why the videos have disappeared.
But then again, sometimes, things just happen in life and you just need to deal with it.

Embrace Your Dreams

2011-12-16T21:02:00.000+08:00

FINALLY! Like finally, I'm at home.
Man. How long has it been since I was here? Was it last Thursday? I think it was.
It's nice to be back home, even if I am alone here. Sometimes, the silence and quietness can be very relaxing.
At the very least, it certainly makes me feel as if I'm in my own little world. A great start for a weekend, for sure.

I've finally posted the last picture for 30 Days of Final Fantasy.
The question for today was just too heart-wrenching. It asked me which character's death was the most tragic.
No doubt, the award goes to Zack Fair. I wish I can be like him. Or maybe have someone in my life like him. He's just too awesome.

Cloud, you poor soul. T_T Zack, the things you had to go through. </3

They're all heroes in their own way.
Even Sephiroth, up to a degree, really. It all depends on perspection.

Anyway, I'm currently playing around with SwishMAX at the moment.
Just getting into the mood, but I have other stuff to complete first.
There's BTAR's Baling Talk assignment. Unit 4 for Dr. O's MIP project. Japanese drama to edit and compile. I'll focus on the first two first, I guess.
This weekend will be very full of work. And to be able to sit down and complete each assignment, one by one, I need to be inspired first.
Let me just say, there is one anime that has never failed to inspire me. Especially in cooking, cleaning and being uberly cheerful to the point where it's amazing.

Don't laugh, I'm being absolutely serious here.
Card Captor Sakura is one of my very first animes ever. I grew up with it. And still watch it until this very day (heck, I have the complete set DVD with the two movies XD).
There's just something about Sakura that can really inspire me to do my best. Another anime is Angelic Layer, but it doesn't inspire and motivate me as much as CCS does.
It's a half-shame that CCS is a complete anime. By complete, I mean that it doesn't have any plot holes in it, just like Fullmetal Alchemist. The fanfiction fandom is packed with heavy AU stories, which I never can truly tolerate.
But yeah, I've just watched several episodes, and I'm now motivated to start working.

On a final note, can I just say that I have a heck of a soft spot for omelettes?
Been having fun with myself in the kitchen a few hours ago, and one of the things I must cook when in the kitchen is an omelette.
I think my love for omelettes can be like a Japanese man from Osaka with his love for okonomiyaki.
Omelettes are great. You can just put anything in it.
The best ones are when they're fluffy. <33
Anyway, let's get down to it! Gambatte ne!

Awesome Rhapsodists

2011-12-15T19:21:00.000+08:00

These days just keep on getting better and better.
By right, my interpretation of 'better' here is very subjective. Put yourselves in my shoes and some of you might cast the week as being full of a series of unfortunate events.
But look on the bright side of life. There's always room to experience everything!

My last entry was too happy and tranquil to do this week justice.
I think it comes with me being in Johor when I was typing it. Quite rightly, Johor is too awesome a place to write about unfortunate, interesting occurences. It's actually a place I feel like returning to at one point, Johor. It's just so fun.

Anyway, if I want to talk about all the bad news, then I can well say that the bad stuff began (if I'm not mistaken) since that late afternoon with the doughnuts and cake for Shep's early birthday party. Having a doughnuts with flavours for six is just amazing. Wonder how I managed to do that when the cake looked fine... even if it did fall down eventually, thanks to my awesome balancing skillz.

One thing I didn't (but should've) mentioned is about the Cambridge Proficiency Test that I took on Saturday.
We (Shep and I) found out that we needed to sit for the test on Thursday. Almost pretty much right after I damaged the doughnuts.
The test was on Saturday. And because we had to go, the tickets to Johor were postponed. Instead of going at 10:30AM, it was delayed to 6PM. We were told that it would be a "half-day event".
AND MY GOODNESS, the half-day event lasted until 5PM. We had to wake up early and arrived at APB at 7AM. On a Saturday, jeez.
Thankfully, the test itself was alright. A little easier than MUET, I would say. Though we were confined inside that small building. We were disallowed from exiting, even to eat. They gave us pizza to compensate.
So anyway, due to us finishing late (and being in Kuala Lumpur at the time), there was no bus to catch. We had to buy a different set of tickets, at 8:30PM. There was no taxi. Luckily, a friend of ours drove us there.
Then there was the awesome Johor (except for the fact that I never got across that three-storey highway) and we were scheduled to head back on Monday, 5:30PM. Shep's sister dropped us at the terminal at 5:15PM.
We waited for forty-five minutes.
And discovered the bus left without us. >_>
I smelled burnt money in the air at the time.
Again, we had to buy a different set of tickets. 7:30PM. RM6 more expensive than usual. The joys.

So we got back from Johor.
Had a... very productive time on Tuesday. I shall let you interpret that however you wish. Cross-cultural class was cancelled.
Then, much later that night, we ate something... bad. I suppose.
Leading to an excruciating case of food poisoning the very next day. What were the chances? XD
Didn't make it to Professional Communication. Forced ourselves to Marketing (and I scored half of the quiz as a result). Couldn't make it to Japanese. But I went for the shooting for our project - the fresh air helped a lot, at the very least. And I got to wear Setsuna's outfit. 8D

Yeah, this outfit. =D

Today was better... after over-sleeping until 9AM.
My goodness. And I wondered what else could go wrong.
There were a few other little things that went wrong here and there. Like Shep not being able to afford to pay for photostated MCs. Us buying shampoo instead of body shower because I was concentrating too hard making sure it was goat's milk. Me finding out that my (now) favourite Hawke does not have a definite name.

Okay, that last one applies for me and only me. But still.
That Hawke is so handsome it's amazing. And he's an archer. Like Sebastian. <333

Look at that. T__T
Seriously, look at that. T__T
How cruel can Shep be, making me fall in love with a nameless character?
She made me fall in love with her Malcolm Hawke. Then edited him so I was no longer attracted to him. T__T
I wonder what his real name is. And if I'll be disappointed if I find out. Or... Or if I'll love him even more. XD
Oh, Shep. The things you do to me.

But anyway, there is a point to this awfully long blog post (that I wonder if you're still reading).
This week is one of those weeks where you just think that if something has the potential to go wrong, it does go wrong.
But there are all the other little things that are just great about this whole week.
The fact that it was so darn interesting and eventful. All the laughs I got from it. All the experience. All the emotions. Even if I am depressed over a game character whose name I do not know. XD

The point is... Look at the bright side of life?
Something like that. Toodles!

Joys of Johor

2011-12-12T13:55:00.000+08:00

Greetings from Johor, peoplez!
I am currently lounging in Shep's room in Shep's house in Johor Bahru as I'm typing this now.
And for the past two days I have felt so detached from this world.
It's not that I don't want to do any work. I have Dr. O's papers in my bag, Dr, Aini's sheets tucked with them, the three Japanese textbooks safely stored in my laptop bag, about four feet from where I'm sitting... But since I came to this place, I just feel so... out of it. Like there's no such thing as UiTM, or as if I'm on a really extended vacation.
Ah, the joys.

Johor is awesome.
We had a barbecue last night, and I still smell vaguely like smoke, taking charge of the shrimp and sausages.
And I saw a three-storey (for the lack of a better description) highway that I now want to go across. Just watch me. Should luck be on my side and I live a long life, I shall go across that highway.
Man. I don't wanna go back to Shah Alam. I don't wanna continue with all the work. XD But that's life for you. I'll go back eventually.

The Night of Excellence was quite nice.
It was grander than last semester. The presents were also much better, and the food as well. But the best thing about that night was the amount of friends and classmates present. A much larger amount than last semester, which was just great.
The whole team did such a good job. It was nice to see that the whole thing really paid off.

I've currently got a whole load of books that I want to read.
E-books in particular, followed by an extended list of fanfictions. Not to mention writing. I'm behind schedule already thanks to this detached person I am now, but I think that maybe, just maybe, I want to postpone writing until the end of next week. The end of classes. Then I won't need to worry about anything else.
All this in addition to the books I want to buy at Kinokuniya. XD My goodness. I hope Shep will get her money soon, because I'm already writhing here wanting that feel of a new book in my hands.

Anyway, our bus leaves at 5:30PM.
Which means that there's approximately four hours left to enjoy this small vacation before needing to start thinking about work again.
*sigh* And I thought this feeling would last much longer. I'm ready to start the semester break now.

Currently reading Stephen Baxter's Moonseed.

A Very Long Day

2011-12-08T20:54:00.000+08:00

As I'm typing this, the clock on my laptop has just ticked 8:45PM.
I feel as if it's more fitting of that clock showed 00:00AM instead. XD
Today has been a very long day. My fingers feel light, my arms detached, my feet cold but my mind just buzzing with energy. Like... too much energy.
The night is still young, and despite my tiredness, I know I cannot sleep just yet.
I have things I need to do.

Today was quite awesome.
It's one of those days where I can listen to Nickelback's 'If Today Was Your Last Day' with pride instead of with sadness/disappointment.
Just found out that I have Cambridge's English test or whatever you actually call it this Saturday. I was surprised. And admittedly, quite annoyed. Just because I've bought a ticket to return to Johor with Shep on the day. But things worked out. <3 The time of the tickets has been changed to evening instead of morning, and we'll be able to go to that Cambridge thing. A win-win situation. You get both.

Celebrated Shep's birthday a day early today.
The whole thing was just so amusing, it was amazing. Though there's still tomorrow. <3 I'm bringing Commander Shepard to meet her. He wants to wish her a happy birthday. XD
I had a typical Mai-moment today. Riding the motorbike, balancing the cake on my lap, I was so focused that I actually managed to ride and not move the cake too drastically. Which is such an accomplishment.
But me being me, balancing is never a strength of mine. The cake fell. When the motorbike was safely parked and still. >_> Above all those turns I had to make, the bumps I need to endure, the cake fell when the motorbike was stationary. I felt such extraodinary amount of grief. XD But I caught the cake mid-fall. And it didn't turn out to be that damaged.
...And of course, due to my extended attention to the cake, the doughnuts looked far worse. Ah, dear. The things that Shep needs to go through, being friends with me.

Malam Kecermelangan APB tomorrow night. Gonna wear this one baju kurung that I've never tried before.
Then there's the Cambridge test thing. Then there's Johor with Shep.
This weekend will be so full.
Well, I need to be off! Work calls, and I need to get ready for tomorrow. Commander Shepard is waiting for me. XD Toodles people!

The Revelation

2011-12-05T21:53:00.000+08:00

I did this one online quiz just now, and the result I got was quite surprising. Well, I suppose I can say it was quite unexpected for me. It's a quiz (a very simple one) that tells you how you live your life.
What I got was:

You Live Your Life Silently

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.
You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think.
You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many acquaintances.
Some of your past dreams have disappointed you, but you don't let it get you down.

In a way, it does ring the truth.
I have this tendency, occasionally, to immerse myself with articles and lists written by people who (believe) have lived their life to the fullest.
Those type of articles like "101 Ways to Live Your Life to the Fullest", or "How to be happy everyday", or "How to live a full life" or anything like that.
It's quite addicting, at least to me, to read those things from time to time. Not that they teach me anything particularly new with how to live life. They just provide me with reminders, especially when I need them.

Like these past few days.
I asked Shep a question today. It's actually one of the things I like to do when I'm with her, to just ask weird questions and see her responses. And today, in so many words, I asked her... How does one know if they're living their life the right way? I mean, how do you know you're living it right? How do you know you're not living it the wrong way? Life is lived forwards, but understood backwards. It's painful, sad, but it's true. So... how do you decide what to do? And how do you decide how you should react to situations, and people?
A small, very small part of me wished that she had this sort of formula where she can tell me how to create my ideals and live with it. But Shep being Shep, she had to question why I need a definition on who I am. All the things we do depends heavily on the situation anyway. You can't just say "These are my ideals" and react the same way to everything. It just doesn't work. Apparently.

I had this one big revelation today.
...Maybe I should just stop worrying and go with the flow. XD To quote Mr. Case's last e-mail: "Whatever you do you'll end up thinking what if. That's life."
Instead of worrying about something that might happen, maybe I should just wait for the thing to actually happen and decide then. I trust myself to know how to react in a given situation. Or, at the very, very least, to know what I want and what my thoughts are regarding the matter.
Maybe I should just stop thinking too much. And stop attaching myself to things. It'll definitely make life a heck of a lot easier to me. But will it be meaningful? That is something else to think about, on another different day.
Gosh. I should be a philosopher.

“Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinion drown your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs

What Happened To Goodbye

2011-12-04T01:38:00.000+08:00

It's amazing how, when the mood strikes me, I can sit down and actually do something and get it done.
I have this one problem within me where my concentration is always so lacking.
I have a bunch of anime DVDs I need to watch, but I can't. Just because sitting there and watching is so unlike me. Getting bored of the anime is unlikely. Getting bored of sitting is what will happen.
So I was surprised when this afternoon, while waiting for my laptop to finish partitioning, I picked up Sarah Dessen's 'The Truth About Forever' and read. And, just a few minutes ago, finished it.
390 pages. And when was the last time I read a fiction book? I honestly don't know.
390 pages in between me backing up and copying and backing up my external harddisks again and again.
390 pages in between me attempting to do any one of the two assignments I have that needs to be done by Monday.
390 pages that, seriously, I don't know how many times I've re-read.

It's now 1:37AM, and I'm feeling the usual sleepiness.
Only this time, I'm not going to sleep. I want to sit here and do this work and get it done. Motivation is nothing if you just won't work towards it.

Sarah Dessen has a new book out. It's called 'What Happened to Goodbye'.
If I can sit here and finish the two assignments, then I'll go to Kinokuniya some time in the future and get the book.

Purple Hair = Terrible Weddings

2011-12-03T09:59:00.001+08:00

Something that just came to my attention recently.
Why is it that villains who wishes to marry the heroine have the tendency to have purple hair?
Take Seymour Guado for an example. Or Yuna Roma Seiran.
Both have purple hair, are deemed as villains, and have tragic weddings because the heroine is destined for someone better.
Thing is, last time I checked, purple is a symbol of royalty. Of magic and mystery. Of wisdom and nobility. So why the hair? XD

LOOK AT THAT HAIR. DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING AS AWESOME AS THAT, HUH?

I bet he needed endless bottles of hair spray to keep that firmly in place all day.

Yuna's hairstyle is just laughable. XD

It's quite sad when you have these scenes where these gentlemen with hair of royalty are ditched because the heroine has someone else.
Especially when the hero is not as wealthy or as determined. I mean, if he's determined, the wedding wouldn't really happen in the first place, right? >_>
Though in both Cagalli and Yuna's cases, they were both trying to protect their nation. So meh.

Oh, Yuna, you poor dear.

With Seymour's hair, I shall never envy you. XD

What's always so amusing is that the guys just never take the hint.
The girls don't love you, my pretty hairs. Though the way they still insist on it make me want to dedicate this song to them:

I can see it in your eyes

You feel the same way about us as I

There is no way the truth can be disguised

You're still in love with me

You were never really out of love with me

Your eyes don't lie

- Your Eyes Don't Lie by David Archuleta

Anyway, yeah, I do feel sorry for them, up to a degree.
Everyone needs someone in this life, isn't that right?
Though I can't really appreciate the cliches where the heroine is pulled into a wedding she doesn't want to commit herself to. Especially because she'll be rescued, leaving the groom standing like a potato all alone.
That's just sad.
Other things I despise in films are women needing to give birth with everyone panicking and any form of physical infliction of pain to the *****. I just don't get the humour behind it. Most of the time, any form of those two will spoil the story for me. Which is a shame, because they seem to be everywhere in films and dramas. I hope they'll drop out of popularity soon. It's sickening.
Such, these are the three pet peeves in films/dramas for me. Especially the two I just mentioned. This whole wedding thing is still tolerable. <3

Right, enough of me rambling nonsense in the middle of the morning.
Referring to my previous post on motivation, I think I have something I can share.
I have this one book with awesome pages to write on. And I'm currently in the process of filling it with my favourite lines, quotes, poems, etc. It'll take a while to get full. I'm sure it has around 200+ pages.
...But it's a start in motivating yourself.

The Price of Freedom

2011-12-02T22:09:00.000+08:00

Wow.
Seriously, is it still Friday?
I thought it was Saturday already. To think I was still in Shah Alam this morning. @__@
Today has been such a long, long day. Like, seriously.
But I'm glad that it's still Friday. There are a lot of things I want to get done tonight. And it's raining right now. It's cold tonight.

Took the sisters out to watch Breaking Dawn and Puss in Boots today.
Can I just say, when it comes to the Twilight series, I have a soft spot for Jacob Black. In Breaking Dawn's film, I absolutely loved him, all because he says the exact same things I wanted to say.
Especially when he said he was going to be sick when Bella was about to drink blood. Honestly, the popcorn suddenly wasn't appetizing at all.
The whole film made me recoil in horror so many times. -.- I've never had a problem with the previous films, but this one was horrifying. Bella looked awful. Some scenes were repulsive and disturbing.
I think I've lost quite a number of brain cells watching it.
Puss in Boots was much better. But it can't top off Kung-Fu Panda II.

I wonder... What drives someone to be motivated?
The music you listen to?
The post-it notes on the wall with all your goals on it?
The encouragement you get from others?
The hopes and dreams you have?
The expectations placed on you?
The people you admire?
The characters you wish you were like?

Why is it that the characters I admire never seem to give up?
Athrun Zala. Kira Yamato. Cloud Strife. Zack Fair. Genesis Rhapsodos. Edward Elric. Alphonse Elric.
They always have the drive to keep on doing what they're doing.
My journey is not at all as challenging, but I still lounge around lazily.
I wish I can have the drive that they have. Even if they are completely fictional.

The Price of Freedom is a song I listen to for motivation.
It's a soundtrack off from Final Fantasy Crisis Core.
I think determination is the only way to go. Only I need to find something that can really get me determined to achieve something.
I just have to find it.

Well people, let's get cracking!
Time won't be here forever, you know.
If I find out what makes me motivated, I'll let you know.
I call for a refreshing shower. Maybe a cup of strong coffee. And then right down to it.

Fragments of Memories

2011-12-01T23:28:00.000+08:00

Finally, I'm home.
I thought that rain was going to last the night or something.
Man, I'm tired. Not physically. Tennis wasn't that cruel today. Emotionally.
I think I worry far too much about things. But sometimes, answers just can't come to me no matter how hard I look for them.
Why are humans so hard to understand?

'Fragments of Memories' by Nobuo Uematsu (Final Fantasy VIII) is such a sweet song. It has the ability to make me cry by just listening to it. It's awesome.

Terrible BFFFs

2011-11-30T10:09:00.000+08:00

Dear Blog,

I am a terrible BFFF. That stands for Best Friends Forever FOSHO., in case you didn't know. I left Shep alone. To die. With the fever that came every four years. Like the Olympics. and as the BFFF, what did I do? I went to class. Like a GK. The hardworking GK I always denied myself to be. I left her all alone. Oh, how terrible can I be?

I should have stayed. And taken care of her. And not abandon her. She was alone. And went to Johor as a result. All because I left her. She was weak. Crying without tears. Flying without wings. In space. Space that she seemed to be in because of her light-headedness. And what did I do? I went to class. TO CLASS. What's so fun about class anyway? I went because there was a presentation. And my partner didn't come anyway. Oh, woe is me.

I shall listen to 'No Tears' by James Blunt and cry. Cry awfully loudly. While Shep listens to 'Cold Water' by Damien Rice and 'All By Myself' by Celine Dion. No Tears shall put me to tears. Especially these lines:

Someone somewhere's coming home tonight

Trying to understand the sacrifice

So save your tears for the ones left behind

YEAH, I'm saving my tears for Shep who was left behind. By me. The supposed BFFF. I shall never be forgiven. </3

Yours truly.
The BFFF.

50,000 Words

2011-11-29T02:16:00.000+08:00

50,000 Words.
Of the absolute worst novel ever that is more patchwork than story.
Just like last year. XD
Jeez, my back hurts. And my neck.
But at least the goal is achieved. To write a total of 50,000 words in a month.
Thank goodness the morning class tomorrow is cancelled. x__x

The Fifth Act

2011-11-28T11:22:00.003+08:00

My friend, the fates are cruel
There are no dreams, no honor remains
The arrow has left the bow of the goddess

My soul, corrupted by vengeance
Hath endured torment, to find the end of the journey
In my own salvation
And your eternal slumber

Legend shall speak
Of sacrifice at world's end
The wind sails over the water's surface
Quietly, but surely

- Loveless Act VI

I feel as if I'm in space. Floating, just... floating.
I have so much emotions in me it's insane. Who knew something could be so... overwhelming.
Oh, God, I need some time alone to think. Some time, away from humanity, where I can just sit and let the thoughts and emotions consume me.
One act of compassion can change the world.
It's amazing how... My goodness. It's amazing how the smallest of things are often overlooked.
I have found it. The answer to what I was searching for two days ago.
My ideals. My wants. My desires.
I've finally found it.
And God knows, it has left me absolutely blown away. This blog post is incoherent, even for me.

Loveless is a new play/poem that I am interested in.
Maybe because the fifth act is missing, and thus the story is never complete.
Like this world, the future is open to so many possibilities that is up to our own interpretation.

I wonder... Would I have done it?
Given the strength, do I have that sort of courage within me? The sort of personality to survive it?
To selflessly put my life on line, grasping the remaining strands of sanity with my fingertips, all for the determination to live and pass the legacy...
Could I have possibly done something like that?
I'm in space. Space within the confines of my own mind. And until I can get somewhere quiet, somewhere for me to enjoy my time and my emotions, trying to understand, I fear that I will be floating in this space for quite some time.

AWUUAOWUIIOIYOHH

2011-11-27T20:50:00.000+08:00

The title pretty much says everthing.
That, that title right there, sums up EXACTLY how I'm feeling at the moment.
...For the sake of your sanity, and to avoid nightmares when you're sleeping, please don't ask me to make that sound in real life. It's not pretty.

For the first time in my life, looking at Photoshop makes me want to throw up.
It makes me feel... sad. Really sad.
But at least Mas came home today (a month off, the lucky idiot) which means that we'll be watching Hana Kimi again, hopefully marathon it until the end. <3
It's no Battlestar Galactica. But it'll keep the withdrawal away.

So why am I making that "AWUUAOWUIIOIYOHH" noise?
For starters. NaNoWriMo. 44,200 Words. A little more to go.
Secondly. Dr O's project. Afiqah and Fatin are such bullies. I've been drawing and scanning and colouring and drawing and scanning and colouring since this afternoon. I feel as if something is bound to come out from my insides. Eugh.
Thirdly, music. Due to the long hours drawing and Photoshopping, the sound of music is making me cringe. Which is not nice, because I love Jenova Absolute, thank you.

I need a long, long break. I need a holiday.
I have a good mind to go to Bukit Cahaya come Friday. Rent a bike, cycle until I can't cycle any longer.
Yes, the idea is very, very appealing.
Well... back to work. Quite honestly, Afiqah and Fatin will have the scripting time of their lives with Director once I'm done Photoshopping.
They'll see. Oh yes. They'll see. AHAHAHAHAHA.

Lightning is flashing outside like a display of fireworks. What's strange about it is that there's no accompanying thunder.
Sleep well, my darlings. <3

The Songs

2011-11-26T17:43:00.001+08:00

Two instances where I will listen to music, and oftentimes, the same songs repeatedly:
a) When I'm writing fiction.
b) When I'm designing.

Considering that it's been a month for NaNoWriMo and that Part III of this degree has a class for Web-Enabled Multimedia E-Language Production, I've been doing both a lot. So I've been listening to the same songs repeatedly a lot as well.

Oh, how I'll love some new songs once this whole phase is over.
On one hand, I want Part III to end. On the other hand, there's a chance I'll cry at the end of this semester. Because we'll have gone half-way through the degree.

Current Top 5 Songs:
1. Touch My Hand - David Archuleta
2. A Little Too Not Over You - David Archuleta
3. Running - David Archuleta
4. Angels - David Archuleta
5. Waiting For Yesterday - David Archuleta

Soon to be on the list:
No Tears - James Blunt
I Wanna Go To A Place - Rie Fu (Gundam SEED Destiny)
Find The Way - Mika Nakashima (Gundam SEED)
Why - Ayaka (Final Fantasy Crisis Core)
Suteki Da Ne - RIKKI (Final Fantasy X)

Current Top 5 Instrumentals:
1. Kira~ Ai No Theme - Sahashi Toshihiko (Gundam SEED Destiny)
2. Seigi To Jiyuu - Sahashi Toshihiko (Gundam SEED)
3. Love Grows - Nobuo Uematsu (Final Fantasy VIII)
4. Jenova Absolute - Nobuo Uematsu (Final Fantasy VII)
3. Your Hand In Mine - Explosions in the Sky

Soon to be on the list:
The Landing - Nobuo Uematsu (Final Fantasy VIII)
Gaia x Chaos x Abyss - Sahashi Toshihiko (Gundam SEED Destiny)
Requiem of a Dream - Clint Mansell

The Grown-Up Decisions

2011-11-26T16:08:00.001+08:00

Humans are so flexible.
It's amazing how that one phrase above took me ages to figure out. Well, not exactly figure out. More like... notice. The knowledge kinda sorta came to my attention since a few days ago. It's one of those things you know, but don't exactly realise. Otherwise known as common sense, I suppose.
It struck me that humans can make weird decisions. Give them a situation, and they'd react. Even if they don't do anything, that's still a reaction. Give them a second situation, similar to the first but with one slight change, and they might react a whole lot differently.
I used to get really annoyed whenever I gave Shep a situation and ask her how people should react to it. Or what is the "normal response". Or anything along those lines.
I get annoyed because her answer would always be "It depends".
Now, I can appreciate her answer because it really does depend. On everything. I guess when it comes to humanity and life, Shep has a better grasp on reality than I do. A much better grasp.

Cloud Strife. The master of one who doesn't know himself.

I think, back then, and maybe even now, I lived in a world where I wish I can see things as black and white. It used to be an extreme way of living, where if a person reacts in a specific way, it's hard for me to get my head around the matter if they suddenly react differently.
Back then, I was a girl who believes she has a good grasp on the people she knows. How they would react to things. What upsets them. What makes them happy.
It's an odd way of living, and certainly won't last long. And it didn't. Now, I find myself unable to react to things, especially with people.
I have been told that I'm good at making friends. An extrovert, apparently, though I would actually beg to differ.
Thing is, I do have the tendency to strike friendship with all sorts of people. But when the relationship faces problems or something, I just don't tend to know what to do.
What's best? I always worry on that question.
These past few days, I've been playing with so many "What if's". What if I hadn't responded? What if I pretended the person never existed? What if I stop caring? What if I just don't want to know? What if I stayed? What if I insisted?
I'm currently in a phase where all my decisions are being questioned. I think I'm just in the process of searching for my ideals.

Nurus likes to make fun of me, saying I tend to "switch back" to being nineteen years old again.
Despite the fact that that is my age.
When I was sixteen, many people told me I'm mature. Now I'm nineteen, I'm searching for myself.
Living life is so difficult. I wish there's a book out there that can tell me what to do.
But then again, that takes the meaning of life away, doesn't it?
Sometimes, being an idealist is tiring.

These past three days have been so eventful.
I guess that's why I've been so conflicted. My days are usually full with routines. Busy routines, but routines all the same.
When I get catapulted out of routines, that's where my maturity is challenged.
Why is life so difficult to live?

Genesis Rhapsodos

2011-11-24T23:14:00.000+08:00

A character I'm beginning to fall very deeply in love with.

...No, screw that. I'm in love with him already. <3

Man. I think I like him more than I like Vincent now.

I'm in such a fangirl-y mood right now it's amazing.

My friend, do you fly away now?
To a world that abhors you and I?
All that awaits you is a somber morrow
No matter where the winds may blow

My friend, your desire
Is the bringer of life, the gift of the goddess

Even if the morrow is barren of promises
Nothing shall forestall my return

- 'Loveless' Act III

Different Songs for Different Times

2011-11-23T22:58:00.002+08:00

I am armed with a cup of coffee (Ali Cafe, to be specific), and David Archuleta's full album.
With hope that I shall sleep very, very late tonight with a lot of Dr. O's work finished and 10k written and placed in the pocket.
Can I just say, Ali Cafe is heck strong. I have a very high tolerance to caffeine. Black coffee is my favourite on mornings - any other time during the day and I'd prefer cappucino, followed by mocha. I just love coffee.
It's been a while since I've found a coffee brand that can truly get me to stay awake. I hope Ali Cafe will last for a long time. Back in Kedah, even Nescafe's Rich couldn't keep me up for more than an hour. Last semester, Nescafe Gold was rendered useless. It just makes me sleepy.
Anyway, I think I can stay up late tonight. I napped this afternoon, and I have high hopes for Ali Cafe.

I know that I've always said that Nickelback and Vertical Horizon are my favourite bands.
I never really mentioned any favourite artists, have I? XD
Let's just say, the one currently topping the list as my favourite artist would have to be David Archuleta.
I liked him ever since I saw him on American Idol's 7th season. He's awesome. And to think we're only about two years apart in terms of age.

Go Archuleta. XD

Just to motivate myself, I'll give myself a progress chart.
As of 10:55PM 11/23/2011, my progress is:
2/6 (+3 extra) completed for Dr. O's individual assignments.
0/3 Story boards drawn for tomorrow.
32,000/50,000 Words written for NaNoWriMo.

Let's begin the fun!

Horror With Luxury

2011-11-23T18:38:00.001+08:00

There are a lot of different people in this world.
Every one person in this world has a personality. Has opinions. Views. Values. Beliefs. Desires. Likes. Dislikes.
And I suppose, everyone also has their hobbies and interests.
They also have their own way of doing things.
...This includes basic facial care.

When it comes to facial care, I know I'm a simple girl.
I know girls who care more than I do. I also know girls who care less than I do.
My basic facial care goes no further than the scrub, foam and daily cream.
Make-up goes no further than powder and the occasional lip balm.
That's it.
No toners, no moisturisers, no masks, no sunblocks, nothing more.

So imagine how amused I felt when I received a call last week telling me that I won a lucky draw, earning me a free basic facial treatment.
Under normal circumstances, I would have declined. I never would have bothered.
Several things that made me say "Thank you, I'll see you next week" were that the place was so darn near, I had a transport of my own, and like most instances, I love to experience new things.
Even if it is a basic facial treatment.
I've had facial treatments before. From a friend who likes to do these things. But only once. Twice at most. Never at a beauty salon.
I'm not a stranger when it comes to these places. Spas, hot springs, saunas - I've had my fair share of experiences with them. But not since many, many years ago.

So I thought, what the heck, it's a new experience. Let's go and get a free facial done.
I think, in all honesty, I will most definitely avoid facial treatments after this. Despite loving the fact that I now have a new experience.
Seriously? I was so tense that it was comical.
I appreciated the place. The cool air conditioning. The soothing background music. The smell of the place which just has the word FRESH painted all over it.
But as soon as I stepped into the place, I regretted it. I couldn't sit still. And my heart pounded as if I'm waiting for news on whether I'm pregnant or not.
I was asked some standard questions. And then my face was labelled. Dry skin. Needs moisturising. Eyebags clear under the tired eyes (this nearly made me chortle. XD I slept past 4AM watching Battlestar Galactica with Shep and woke up at 6AM).
Then I was told that my free treatment is only the basic package. I said it was fine. That's why I was there.
I was asked whether I wanted a machine treatment for RM100. Get rid of the blackheads. Lighten the skin colour. No.
Then, whether I wanted an eye treatment or not for another RM100. Serum. Treatments. Again. NO.

All the while, I thought, "Dear me, why the heck am I here again?"
I can endure quite a lot of things.
But lying on that bed and doing nothing while someone gives me a facial? No. Just no. I felt like my personal space has been severely breached. I was so tense. I fidgeted. I wanted to toss and turn. Heck, dude, I wanted to run away, but then they have my phone number so it wasn't a good idea. -.-
So I stayed. Like the brave soldier I am, I stayed and endured the horrible pain of the unfamiliarity of it all.
It was so horrible. Despite knowing that it's a luxury for many.

As soon as it was done, I bolted out. Seriously, I did.
I went out of that place so fast I wonder if people were laughing as they watched me leave.
I had hysterics. I wanted to laugh so hard, and a few giggles escaped me. Needless to say, people threw me weird looks.
I was on Wrex in less than a minute. In fifteen more minutes, I was already in Klang, so determined I was to put as much distance between me and the place. As much as possible.
And my face feels no different.

My goodness.
The things I do for experience.
I like experience for various reasons. They made me feel alive. And most of all, they allow my writing to take a more realistic feel to it.
So I guess it wasn't that bad. For a facial treatment.
Goodness me, let's hope I won't need to endure one again. At least not in a very, very, very long time.

The Future

2011-11-21T21:29:00.000+08:00

Currently at the living room.
Listening to my mom commenting/reacting to the football match currently on telly. I don't even know who is going against who, despite it happening on screen about ten feet from where I'm sitting.
I know it's Malaysia against someone. Oh, right. They're against Indonesia. I just took that second to look, just to find out. XD
I really don't watch football anymore. Ever since Van Der Sar left Manchester United.

Anyway, here I am, at the living room where the internet connection is the fastest, installing whatever softwares I currently need.
At long last, this laptop has been formatted. But once again, it's the wrong version of Windows.
Gotta love the Papa for all this. <3
I've run the idea of buying a new laptop across my mom. Haven't done so with dad yet. But I think it'll go well. I know what I want. And when I want something, I'll usually make sure I get it.
I'm terrible, I know. I'm sorry.

My mind is amazingly empty at the moment.
It's one of those empty minds where you just feel somewhat at peace.
It was in a small turmoil earlier. Not bad, just... overwhelmed. With the many things I haven't thought about in a long time.
I guess it's safe to write here. Despite everything, I have high doubts that people actually read what I say here.

Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about the future today, on my way home from uni.
It's strange... I am a person who truly lives in the present.
I don't have hopes. Or high dreams. I have a general idea on what I want to do, but I don't know the means I'll take to achieve it.
I don't like setting plans. I don't like aiming for something. Just because I know that in a few months, I'll change my mind and want to do something else.
I still haven't found that one thing I want to do, that calling that can just tell me that 'Rino, this is what you're supposed to do in life'. I still haven't discovered that yet.

Once upon a time, I'd have said that I want to be nothing but a mother. And a wife.
Up to a certain degree, that is still on the list of what I want to do. Nothing else.
But then, like I said, I tend to change. Things change. My desire to have a child has never changed since I was a little girl. But to be a wife? I don't know.
There's so many things I want to delve into. So many things I want to learn and achieve. Responsibility, depending on who I might end up with, might shatter those desires. And I don't know how I feel about that.
Shep asked me a rather simple question today. She asked whether I've ever prayed to meet "the one". Whether praying to meet him, or praying to quicken the process of being with him...
It was a simple yes or no answer to a simple question.
For me, the answer is yes. Of course yes. Of course I've prayed for that.
For three years (give or take a few months), that was something I had always thought of.
But I stopped practicing it a few months ago. Not because I no longer want to be a wife. Never that. But just because... I'm not ready for it.
To be a wife. To have responsibilities. To give up the possibility of perhaps being able to pursue my 'goals' and 'dreams', whatever they are.
There is just so, so, so much I want to do right now. Settling down isn't it.
My dream is simple, at least at this moment. I want to learn and know everything. No specifics. Just everything under and beyond the sun.
I want to meet a lot of people. I want to gain a lot of experiences. I want to live a full life. Marrying and having children is great, is awesome, is admirable... but there's a lot I want to do before I consider that.

Ahaha.
Great. Now my mind is occupied again. I have so much I want to write... Or, really, so much that I want to say, that I want to pour out from my heart's contents to an able listener, be it a wall, a teddy bear or a diary.
But my mind doesn't function in words. It rarely does. It functions in feelings. In knowledge. In thoughts. Thoughts, feelings, emotions that can never be expressed in words.
...Or maybe I just haven't tried to explain it.
What the heck have I just written here?
I'll stop now.

Call Sign

2011-11-19T19:16:00.001+08:00

Call Sign (n.)
- - - When a Colonial Fleet pilot is assigned a call sign—often inspired by a particular incident, joke, personality trait or military aspiration—the nickname usually sticks for the rest of his or her career... for better or for worse!

Isn't it awesome if we can all have different call signs?
Then again, we'd probably need to be pilots first. And of course I can be a pilot with my eyesight, no problem at all!
Thing is, a call sign is typically one that you would hate. With all your heart.
Though I can't see anything that there is to hate behind having 'Apollo' or 'Starbuck' as a callsign.
Oh, the delights of Battlestar Galactica.

Once upon a time, people say 'Starbuck' and I'd immediately think 'Coffee'. You know. That famous coffee place.
Now, every time I hear 'Starbuck', I'd think of Kara Thrace. Funny how things have ways of playing with your brain.

I used to have a call sign. Back in the awesome ROTU Navy days.
Though I guess it's actually a nickname. Not a call sign.
It was Kodomo Lion. More known as Kodomo for short.
You know... the toothpaste.
How I got the name is quite a long story. And embarrassing. XD

I still meet my Navy friends every now and again.
...And they still call me Kodomo, for the lulz.
If only I had a more awesome military nickname.

For fun, I went to this one website where it generates your call sign for you. Test Yourself! Apparently, the website said that my call sign should be 'Hammerhead'. Because: "You're mean as a shark... and, well, you're kinda funny looking too!"
-.-
I guess not everyone can be an Apollo.

Little Thoughts

2011-11-19T15:39:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since I've written something more private in my blog posts.
I realised that lately, my posts are all Final Fantasy/BSG-related, or are just posts that are full with so much randomness and rants that it's just kinda sorta not worth reading about. XD
But I've decided to write a more private post, just because I can. And just because I'm in the mood to do so.

I've always had a strange view on friendship.
How does one define friendship? Does friendship exist when the person is close to you? Or when you can talk to someone? Or maybe is it there when you can confide in someone? Or is it there when the person can make you smile?
I've lived for 19 Years, 7 Months and 25 Days. 7179 days has passed since my birth. I've lived for 172296 hours, give or take a few hours. Which roughly translates to 10337760 minutes.
When you put the numbers in front of you like that, it's just scary like heck. Seriously, it is.
And throughout those 19 Years, 7 Months and 25 Days, I've met and become friends with so many people. Some people I tend to label as acquaintances. Some as strangers who I can talk to and enjoy having conversations with. Some as friends. A small handful as close friends.
Yet I've always had troubles defining what makes a true friend.

Anyone can make me smile.
Anyone can talk to me.
I can confide in almost anyone.
And anyone can be close to me.

So where do we draw the line between what is a friend and what is not?
Where do we draw the line between what is a friend and a close friend?

I had this debate with a couple of friends of mine a few weeks ago. And I got an answer... somewhat.
Maybe it doesn't matter what friendship is defined as. That was what a friend of mine said.
And really, I guess she's right. Maybe it just doesn't matter.
My life is split into different sections. In each section, I was with a specific group of people, a specific group of friends and acquaintances.
And maybe, just maybe, it doesn't matter who my closest friend is, or who my most distant friend is. Maybe it's just something that the human heart knows, which the brain cannot define in logical words.
My heart knows how much every single person in my life means to me. And it also knows who doesn't matter in my life.
Life is split into sections. The friends I have now might not be my friends in the future. Or maybe they won't play the same role as they do now, but even so, I can't take that as the sign that they are no longer my friends, can I?
It's so amazing, what the human heart can do.
Maybe it doesn't matter that I can't put it to words. What matters is that my heart knows the difference.

The BSG Joys

2011-11-16T18:09:00.003+08:00

I've mentioned before this that I'm currently watching Battlestar Galactica.
What I never (really) expected was that it would make a sci-fi fan out of me.
Not that it has totally succeeded in making me a sci-fi fan just yet, but I think it's getting there.
Though Gundam has also contributed a lot to my interest for sci-fi.
BSG is just pushing me in the direction of going from liking to loving sci-fi. It's just strange. XD
I'm getting there. Not just yet, but I'm getting there.

I've always had this small, soft spot for sci-fi, but the sci-fi I usually prefer are the type that leans more to a fantasy setting. Final Fantasy pretty much sums it all on that one.
The actual, real sci-fi never truly appealed to me. Except for Star Wars (which took years of coaxing before I finally watched it).

Went on a BSG marathon yesterday.
As one would of course expect, if I'm staying at Shep's place. XD Eight episodes, imagine that.
After one week of being BSG-deprived, I was finally able to get the proper dosage to compensate the feeling of sheer, ultimate loss.
I have yet to pinpoint my favourite character. Apollo and Anders appeal to me. Starbuck (so far) makes decisions that I would agree with. Helo has been awesome. Gaius was just... Gaius.
I have to say, watching BSG leaves me emotionally exhausted. I feel as if I've exhausted all my emotions watching the series and that there's just no more emotion left for me to give.
It's like pushing yourself running. You run and run and run to the point of collapse where your body just cannot give you any more energy to keep on going. Only the catch is that somehow, you can still keep on going.
I guess that's how I feel about BSG right now. I'm so tired of watching it that it's insane. But I still want to watch more. XD Oh, the joys.

Let's take the scene I watched two days ago.
Season two, the second episode. When the Chief Tyrol was giving the morpha to Socinus. And then Socinus asked what was going on. And Chief said that the Raptors have arrived, and they're going home. Back to the Galactica. And Socinus DIED.
That scene moved me to such a state of me bawling with unshed tears. Do you know how much that hurt? Or how much that scene made me want to punch Shep's laptop and wreak a havoc screaming murder. I felt like taking a knife and ripping all the teddy bears in the world.
Yet at the same time, I felt like crying so badly. It was one of those moments where I felt like just bawling and asking Shep why, oh why, oh why why why did she have to show me BSG and manage to get me to watch it? T___T It was so cruel it's insane.
I feel as if a part of me has died with that scene. And that I shall never be like the old me again.
Now thinking about it has made me depressed. >_>

Guess it's website-designing and writing for tonight.
Until I can stay over Shep's again and BSG again. I'm looking forward to it. XD
Then again, I need a break from all those emotions coursing out on me. Like sheesh.

By the way, I've been listening to Final Fantasy's soundtracks again.
Can I just say, I've fallen so very, very deeply in love with the first sixteen seconds of "Love Grows" from FFVIII. <333

A Book

2011-11-13T18:34:00.000+08:00

It's been a very, very, very long time since I held a book and read.
I can't remember the last book I finished reading. Was it one of those Alex Rider books?
I can't remember. Oh, Mr. Case would probably he horrified with me.
I read quite a lot of stories online, though. But I can't remember the last time I curled up with a book in my hands.

So when I decided to pick out 'One Child' by Torey Hayden and settled to read, hoping I would fall asleep in the process, I was pleasantly surprised.
I'm near the end as it is. Then again, it's not a long book. Only 300-or-so pages. And it's non-fiction.

This book has so many quote-worthy lines, scenes and dialogues. I love it. <333

Anyway, I'm back to writing again today, thankfully.
About time, really. The days are ticking by, and the end to NaNo is getting steadily closer.
Today is one of those days where I feel like giving it my all. To break the walls and step away from the barriers, throw the ego and ignore the voice at the back of my mind, and just... go for it. And no matter what, even if I fail, then at least I know I've tried and I won't think in the future any longer.

A Bit Emotional, Don'tcha Think?

2011-11-11T23:40:00.000+08:00

Did someone hang onions at my bed last night?
Despite me locking both doors, did someone do it?
I've been having one of those emotional days today, where I felt like crying over almost everything and anything.
Like DUDE. Seriously. GET. A. GRIP.

It's not that I wanted to cry over the things that made me sad.
...Though an argument you can give is, how am I supposed to cry emotionally if I'm not upset?
But anyway, you're not arguing, so yeah. I'm rambling.
I do have things I'm upset about, especially recently. There are a few things that has happened that, with the right time, the right person, the right words, the right prodding, might actually lead me to tears. ._.
But I'm not talking about that.

I wanted to cry today while watching the end of the first Harry Potter movie.
For goodness sake, what the heck happened? XD
I saw Harry's face, all young and innocent. And Hermione, such a know-it-all, but very cute as a child.
And then I recalled their crying faces, worn, tired, defeated, at the last Harry Potter movie.
And I wanted to cry. ._. Like, terribly. But I didn't, of course.
I can control my crying moments quite well when I wish to.

And then later during the day, when I was enjoying myself with my classmates on Facebook.
And then a little more, reading articles about Square Enix, Final Fantasy and Fullmetal Alchemist.
And then finding out that my Guardian's Crusade CD is playable with an emulator on my laptop.
Then listening to nostalgic songs like FFVIII's 'The Landing' theme (which is epic btw, go listen to it!)
And just... @__@ A lot.

It probably doesn't help that I'm listening to FFX's 'Suteki Da Ne' song right now. On repeat.
Songs have this weird effect in determining my mood on many occasions.
I'll change the song now. And be happy again, because I can.
Though I still feel emotional. >_>
Let's play a game. Let's distract the Rino.

The Giggles

2011-11-11T10:18:00.000+08:00

I can't stop smiling.
My heart seems to be filled with this bubble of giggles that's just dying to burst out from my chest.
Ah dear, what the heck is wrong with me?
It's kinda amazing what emotions one small, short e-mail can evoke.
Please stop, giggles, you're really worrying me.

Listening to: One Winged Angel by Nobuo Uematsu. Repeatedly.

100% Working!

2011-11-11T02:03:00.000+08:00

I wonder... How much do we change over the days and weeks and months and years as they pass by?
Sometimes, they're just minute changes. Changes you don't even think have occurred within yourself.
But the truth is... they have. @__@
You know what's even MORE scarier than change?
It's when you've been this one type of person all these years, yet you just realised it.
Now THAT is my definition of a spooky self-realization. XD

Anyway, I'll talk about the less gruesome one.
T.R Justice has been restored. 100% working. 90% at its best.
The remaining 10% is something I cannot do anything about. -.-" It will need to be referred to the shops.
The rest are fine. I never knew locating Intel drivers could be like looking for a needle in a straw, the straw in a hay, the hay in a field, the field a straw field. >_>

Thing is, a few years ago, I would have enjoyed this.
This whole thing about "OMG THIS LAPTOP IS NOT FUNCTIONING WUT TO DO" type of thing.
Now, all I wanted was to whisk it away to the shops.
Of course, dad being dad, I couldn't have my way.
...Not completely, at least.
It's just an interesting thing to realise. Mai has become a wee bit more dependent on laptop shops. XD

Happy 11th November 2011, peoplez!
At least to those individuals that actually has something meaningful happening on this date.
As well as to those who just wishes to celebrate it for the lulz.

Ah... There it is. I've been waiting.
There are the lightnings. And the thunders. Pretty soon, most probably the heavy rain.
Yesterday (or was it two days ago?) it was at around 3AM.
I shall enjoy the night.

Tonight

2011-11-10T20:10:00.000+08:00

It all comes down to tonight.
My computer skillz will be severely tested to a point never tested before.
If only we could be normal.

Why - Ayaka Hirahara

2011-11-10T10:55:00.000+08:00

Japanese Lyrics

Hitomi no oku ga boyake te mie nai

kokoro no soko no kimochi wa aru no ?

Sekai no subete wo te ni shi ta toshite mo

S ore ga anata no shiawase na no ?

Why kodoku na sora wo miageru no ?

Why waratte mise te yo

Kotoba ni suru no ga heta na

Anata no seikaku wakaru kara

Tooi mukashi ni nani ga atta no ?

Shisen wo sorasu anata no hitomi ni

Hitori de samishii yoru ni dakishime rareru

Sonna atataka sa shitteru ?

Why doushite katachi ni kodawaru no ?

Why kokoro wo hirai te

Ookina nimotsu wo seotta

Anata wo ukeire rareru chikara

Aru wa shinji te mi te ?

Ohh..Yeaahh

Jiyuu na hito wa bukiyou de ?

Jiyuu na hito wa fuan de ?

Why kodoku na sora wo miageru no ?

Why waratte mise te yo

Kotoba ni suru no ga heta na

Anata no seikaku wakaru kara

Shinji te mi te

(English Translation)

Your inner eye has clouded over so much that it's impossible for you to see.

Does any emotion still reside within the depths of your heart?

Having the entire world at your fingertips,

Is that what you consider happiness?

Why? Why do you look up into the lonely heavens?

Why? Can't you laugh a little?

I understand this character of yours –

This disposition that is incapable of putting anything into words.

What was it that came to be in your sequestered past?

These eyes of yours, they refuse to meet the world.

All alone with only the lonely night to cradle you,

Is this the warmth that you have come to know?

Why? Why are you so concerned with the way you look?

Why? Can you not open up your heart a little?

You've been taxed by this heavy burden for so long,

It's time that you learn to accept yourself.

Have more faith in yourself...

It is those who are free that are stumbling...

It is those who are free that are insecure...

Why? Why do you look up at the lonely sky?

Why? Can you not laugh, even slightly?

I can appreciate

This reticent character of yours.

You only have to try to believe...

Why... ?

Like, OMG, I have tears in my eyes.

And my heart cries. *wipes tears away*

I should stop listening to this song.

But the bad thing about songs is that sometimes, you just can't stop listening to them.

Crisis Core

2011-11-09T23:42:00.000+08:00

Today has been a very empty day.
Full of sleeping. Full of me wondering if I've somehow contracted a very serious disease or something.
Full of drinking apple juice, eating oranges, and consuming very little more than that.

But anyway, this post isn't for me feeling sorry for myself. XD
I've been pulled into my phase of loving Final Fantasy again.
I blame my NaNo novel, currently titled Rebirth Inc.

See, I play games for one reason, and one reason only.
I play to watch the cut scenes. Especially Final Fantasy. But when you have the wonders of YouTube, then I somehow don't seem to have a reason to play games anymore. XD
It's lame of me, it's probably the worst thing ever, but I dun care.
Though I want to play Final Fantasy VII again. Yes. AGAIN. When the laptop is healed again. And when I can find out if it can support FFVII or not.
If not, that laptop is going back to my sister, and I'll get myself one of those Asus laptops.

Final Fantasy Crisis Core looks so awesome.
Almost better than Dirge of Cerberus, and that's saying something, considering that Vincent has always been my favourite character and I never had any feelings for Zack.
But when you see Zack lying there, dying, then... GOSH. How does one not cry? T_T

Crisis Core ends with Zack's death.
And we all know he died in the second CD of FFVII.
But jeez, to see the cut scene with such quality worthy of Square Enix, it's just... T_T
Sure beats the original 1997 version, that's for sure, no matter how much I love the original FFVII. XD
How many times did I watch that cut scene? I've memorised the dialogue between Cloud and Zack by now.
Though the Japanese version, as always, is better than the English version.

Anyway, empty as today has been, I have finished writing the script for the Japanese drama.
In the drama, I'm a hardcore die-hard Setsuna F. Seiei fan.
Athrun Zala, forgive me! You know you're still the #1 Gundam pilot in my heart.

I might not be able to sleep tonight. @__@ Hibernating during the mornings FTW.
I'll continue NaNo-ing. While crying over Zack's dead body.
I'm such a dramatic person.

NaNoWriMo 2011

2011-11-07T23:12:00.000+08:00

A week has passed by, and I still have not reached 10k.
It's pretty surprising, I have to admit. I miss those days a few weeks ago where I could sit down and write 10k on the spot, but then again, at that time, I was positively geared.
Then again, the bulk of the thing was written with my old Travelmate laptop.
I have to say, I miss that laptop a heck of a lot. A serious heck of a lot.
I don't think any laptop can replace the awesomeness that was Travelmate. T__T

Anyway, I don't want to start crying and blubbering here, so I'll get to the point.
National Novel Writing Month.
Like heck, I wanna win it this year because I know I can do it.
If I could write something close to 80k in a month a few weeks ago, then NaNo should be a breeze.
And I want to accomplish it, no matter how little I feel like writing these days.

In any case, I don't know what my NaNo is about.
I seriously don't.
At the moment, my NaNo is just this huge collection of characters and plot lines that I've always wanted to use and explore, but never got the opportunity to.
So basically, I'm throwing all these groups of characters together, background and stories intact. All the plotlines are merged into one story with a fantasy setting to give me freedom, and I just don't know where it's going to go from there.
Whether the characters will fight against the same evil. Whether they will meet. Whether their actions are going to affect the other characters. Whether the plotlines will click with each other.
I just don't know. @__@ But let me tell you, it's one heck of an interesting story to write.

An excerpt of what I wrote on a whim yesterday:

The souls protested, but Ken only tugged harder, feeling the paper turn into flesh under his touch, but feeling colder than ever as he did so. A voice spoke then... the voice of a madman. A voice he could not make out, not even a bit, but he responded and did not even know what he had said. He only knew it was an agreement. It was an offer, to release the girl, to not take her as a sacrifice, and he was to exchange it with something else... and Ken agreed. What was it he had agreed to? His mind was not working as how it should be, and he could not even form coherent thoughts in his mind. Except... No... Anything, but not her.

Someone laughed triumphantly and Ken felt the tug-of-war game ending, with his side winning. He pulled the skeleton in his arms, tucking her protectively under him, as the cold chill swept through him and he could remember no more. Nothing more. Just the darkness, just the chill, just that and no more.

Wish me luck! 50,000 words, here I come!

Speechless

2011-11-06T21:37:00.000+08:00

Bullet: It pretty much came but it's nothing worth worrying about.
Athena: I'm always worried.
Bullet: Lets talk, I think we should, we have been through enough.
Bullet: I can give another hour.
Athena: Alright. Where to start?
Bullet: Talk through what was going through your mind, start with when it started, end it where you are now.

Bullet: Are you treating your friends like your family? Or a better question, are they your family?
Athena: Some of them are...
Athena: Why else would it hurt me so much to leave?
Bullet: Your family will never leave you, so it wouldnt hurt you
Bullet: Anyone can be stupid, on their own stupidly stupid way

"If we've just spent two years being fully open and you only left the door half open then I'm disappointed in you, really."

"Come to me whenever you are angry, I'm one of the people that can help to control it so I will."

There are just... so many emotions in me right now. So much. So much that at the moment, I feel like laughing and crying at the same time. Ah, dear. Life. ...Life. Really. Life. I'm laughing so hard at the moment. Internally.

Young Scriptor Club

2011-11-06T18:57:00.000+08:00

I just noticed that I've never written a post for the YSC.

Oh my dearest, how terrible a Founder I am. XD

Though I know I've mentioned Scriptors a few times.

Basically, Scriptors was founded by me and my awesome classmates.

It came from a very, very, very random suggestion of sorts last semester, when we were in a discussion-of-sorts with one of our lecturers. She threw out a random question asking us what we wish to do for our faculty, and I just randomly said that it would be nice to have a writing club.

In all honesty, I was kinda hoping that she'd say something like "I'll find someone to establish the club for us" or something.

I didn't expect that she'd take the suggestion so seriously. Nor did I expect that I'd have the duty of writing the proposal, that the proposal would be accepted, and finally, that the club would actually be established. @_@

I'm not fond of being a leader. I'm not fond of holding responsibility. Yet here I am.

YSC is a place for my faculty members to post their work.

It's also a place for us to share tips, articles, all the lot.

I want it to grow. Grow very big.

But we're a new club, and making us shine is going to be rough work which needs a lot of effort.

Effort I am willing to give, if it means encouraging people to write.

It just feels... strange. Really strange. I feel so darn young with the YSC, and I wonder if I'll be able to pull it off. I know I'll try my best, but still. My seniors have accomplished so much more.

It's a good thing I have the greatest committee members ever.

Most of my classmates are involved with YSC. And Shep is my co-founder.

I'll be getting a lot of support and motivation from them.

YSC actually scares me a lot, up to a degree. Mainly because... well... it's my dream to make people read and write in Malaysia. And even though I'm doing so little, I'm still doing something. I never knew that working towards accomplishing a dream could be so... frightening.

For all LG220 and LG221 students out there:

Feel free to visit our website: http://youngscriptorclub.blogspot.com/

Those Teary-Eyed Moments

2011-11-06T15:40:00.000+08:00

My laptop is damaged.
Perhaps not physically, but internally, it is damaged.
Due to gravity, bad luck and carelessness, it fell yesterday when my sister and I were watching Hana Kimi.
At first, I realised that some buttons on the keyboard weren't working when I was replying to a comment on Facebook. The 'b', 'n', spacebar and navigational buttons (except the up button) weren't working.
So I decided to shut down and turn the thing on again, see if it made a difference.
And the thing just won't turn on. Until now. Something about a startup problem, either to do with a software or the hardware.
My brother thinks it's just the insides that are a little shaken. I agree with him.
I'm glad that the spacebar and navigational buttons are working again though. =D Now to get the opportunity to send the laptop to DELL.

In the meantime, I'm using my mom's small, puny, tiny Acer laptop.
Not the best of laptops I've used, but I have no place to complain.

Just finished watching My Name is Khan again.
It's only at times like these, when I don't have my own laptop to work with, that I find myself motivated to do my assignment. Mainly out of worry that the laptop won't be repaired by the end of the week.
My Name is Khan is one of the few movies that can move me to tears. Thankfully, I didn't cry while watching it this time even though I was teary-eyed.
Who couldn't be touched with a movie like that, heck?
Hopefully, I can finish the assignment tonight. So I won't need to worry about the laptop too much.
Currently doing the assignment while listening to Khan's theme song and eating Tiger biscuits with milk. It works quite well.

I'm getting a little worried about myself lately.
Not too worried, but a little. Just a bit.
One thing I constantly keep on telling myself, mentally, is that I should never rely on others to be happy. Never. At least, never 100%. I don't like being dependent. And I am a full believer that happiness is a choice, something that you can have even under the worst of circumstances.
I once forgot completely about that. Happiness, to me, was being with the person I loved, without which it's difficult for me to be at my happiest.
And the result was that for a few short years, it turned me into someone who wasn't that happy at all.
I just need to remind myself about this. I don't want anyone or anything to be responsible for my happiness.
As long as I still remember this, I think I'm alright.

...Maybe the film and theme song is putting me in one of those depressed moods of mine. @__@

First Day

2011-11-05T18:29:00.001+08:00

First day, and so far, I have accomplished... nothing. @__@
Heck, I am so disappointed with myself. But it's still evening, and I still have night to work with.
I have a regular reader of mine asking me what's up and hopes that I'll get back on track again.
Apologies, my darlings. T_T

Anyway, I'm re-watching Hanazakari no Kimitachi e again.
This is purely due to my sister bursting in my room yesterday, demanding a Card Captor Sakura episode.
When we got the DVD out, she suddenly wanted to watch a Japanese drama instead. -.-"
I felt like knocking her on the head.
In any case, I don't mind re-watching Hana Kimi. Oguri Shun is one of my favourite Japanese actors, ever since he played Shinichi Kudo in Detective Conan's live action movie.
And of course, Oguri is the lead role in Hana Kimi. He plays Sano Izumi.

There are a lot of familiar faces in Hana Kimi
But to someone like my sister who hasn't seen that many J-dramas, there weren't that many actors she recognised.
She recognised Yamamoto Yusuke though. The one who acted as Tamaki in the Ouran Live Action, though in Hana Kimi, he's acting as Kayashima Taiki.
I personally had no feelings either way, but my sister has become an avid fangirl for Taiki. -.-"
Honestly, she squeals every time he appears on screen.
And complains how he's handsomer in Hana Kimi than on Ouran.
Personally... I can't really see the difference. ._.

Souo Tamaki (Ouran)

Kayashima Taiki (Hana Kimi)

Maybe it's the hair or something. XD

In any case, I'm not in the mood to write or do anything. But I hope I'll shake it off soon. 8D

THE DAYS OFF!

2011-11-04T11:31:00.000+08:00

It's the start of the holidays! 8D
One week off, you have no idea how long I've been waiting for you to come!
Though technically, I suppose our holiday really started at 12:30PM yesterday. Tennis was cancelled, and public speaking is just too enjoyable to consider as something I wouldn't do during the holidays (who dislikes free food anyway? XD)
Anyway, this week was fun. Not that many things happened, but it was fun.
Marketing test was just... I don't even want to talk about it.
But the Japanese test went fine, thankfully. <3

Watched the last episode for Season 1 of Battlestar Galactica yesterday.
Silly Shep was asleep when the best/worst part was shown.
I cringed all alone, biting my tongue to stop myself from shouting curses at the laptop. -.-" Now I can somewhat understand Shep's love for BSG.
Again, I had that urge to punch her laptop. But I know better. XD

These ten days off will be packed with a lot of activities, I'm assuming.
Things I would like to do:

REALLY begin my novel for NaNoWriMo. And win it this year!
After two weeks of postponing, continue the novel I have now. Preferably, I wanna reach 10k for that novel tonight.
COMPLETE the assignment for BTAR so they won't penalise me. T_T
Finish all individual assignments for Dr. O's class.
Finish cross-cultural assignment.
Have fun with the Young Scriptors Club, my pride and joy this semester.
Watch loads of stuff.
Read loads of stuff.
HAVE LOADS OF FUN.

Nurus purchased a vast number of tickets a few days ago. O.o
Apparently, on the 25th November, I will be watching UiTM Faculty of Law's mock trial.
Like... thanks for the free ticket? XD
Oh, I'll have fun. With Shep and Nurus and all the rest.

Selamat Hari Raya, people! Have a nice holiday, travel safe, enjoy, and remember God always. <3

Ouran Live Action

2011-10-31T01:59:00.000+08:00

Finished watching the Ouran High School Host Club Live Action drama yesterday.
Me and Mas, marathon-ing the thing until past 3AM. All eleven episodes, like WHOO!
So, yeah, from what I said in my previous post, Yamamoto Yusuke had to work rather hard to win the fangirls' hearts as the ultimately handsome Tamaki Suou.
But instead of talking about him, I'll talk about the whole cast. Just because I can.
Just because FOR SOME REASON, I CANNOT SLEEP.

Starting with Kawaguchi Haruna as Haruhi Fujioka.
At first, I thought Haruhi looked too feminine.
Sure, she is a girl. But she was a rather believable guy in the anime. Kawaguchi acted her fine enough though. She had Haruhi's personality and style down to the spot, it's just that Haruhi looked far too much like a girl for my tastes. XD
But I still liked her. A lot.

Nakamura Masaya as Morinozuka Takashi.
Takashi is a very silent, monotonous character with a scary face.
I guess out of all the characters, it's probably one of the easiest characters to play. XD In which case, I think Nakamura did a rather good job with Takashi.
I'll give him a thumb's up, along with Haruhi.

Chiba Yudai as Haninozuka Mitsukuni.
Unfortunately, this is the least of my favourite actors. Maybe because I have too high expectations for Honey-sempai.
Alright, he's a tough one. A third-year senior with a love for cute things and cakes and sweets while at the same time being an ultimate master of martial arts. With a small, boy-ish face and voice.
Chiba had a very tough role to play. Maybe the toughest. I guess it's probably why they didn't make the episode focusing on Honey-sempai. I know it was a tough role, and he did rather well trying to portray Honey... but I still didn't like it. XD Not as much as the other actors.

Shinpei and Manpei Takagi as Hitachiin Hikaru and Kaoru.
I loved the twins. Pranksters, twisted, complicated, contradictory, while at the same time having fun with their brotherly-love to each other. I honestly loved them.
The Takagi brothers portrayed them perfectly. I loved that episode when they were fighting against each other. I loved the episode where Hikaru took Haruhi out. I loved them overall. 8D

Daito Shunsuke as Ootori Kyoya.
Kyoya was a character I learned to love over time when watching the anime. He's a dark one. The mastermind behind the Host club while under the shadows - the actual evil lord doing the planning and plotting, without which the Host club would be nothing at all. And mysterious in his own way.
I had a soft spot for Shunsuke since I first saw him in Hana Kimi. So I have to say, seeing him playing Kyoya was just... unbelievable. I was over the moon. XD The resemblance is scary.
...It made me love Kyoya all the more. <3

Ryusei Ryo as Nekozawa Umehito.
Nekozawa's appearance in the Live Action series was shocking. I didn't expect he'd be in it, despite him being one of my favourite characters. President of the Black Magic club, he's got a phobia for light and has an obsession for cats. As well as being thoroughly creepy with the dark statements he makes.
Ryusei made me fall in love with Nekozawa. I loved him. The face. The creepiness. The fact that he manages to get a cameo in every one of the eleven episodes. Especially that episode focusing on him and Kirimi-chan. It was brilliant. XD
I want that puppet he's wearing. Give me one? 8D Maybe I'll make one.

Finally, we've reached him! Yamamoto Yusuke as Suou Tamaki.
Tamaki is handsome. The prince of the Host Club, the most attractive, the most persuasive with his words. But he's also a complete fool, an idiot, silly and entirely too childish to be true. Plus innocent. Naive. Doesn't know what love is. But he's the one who ties together all the members of the club.
Yamamoto didn't fill the "Handsome" role in Tamaki in the Live Action series. Like said, Tamaki sets the expectations far, far too high for me to be satisfied with perhaps any actor. But concerning everything else, Yamamoto was the ace.
He had the spirit. The personality. The style. The voice. He acted as Tamaki as well as the manga and anime portrayed him to be, which immediately puts him on the list of the best. I think the fact that he has Tamaki's personality down to a T, which was what we all really love about Tamaki, made his acting very much successful in the series.

Overall, I wasn't disappointed with the Live Action series.
The actors were great, and they chose quite a large number of my favourite episodes from the anime to be turned into the drama.
I'm glad they didn't include anything to do with the Yuka Club. I'm sorry, I found that group to be really annoying, enjoyable as they are in the anime.
I wish there were more episodes. T__T

One Truth

2011-10-28T16:14:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, all you can do for a person is to be there, to offer advice when they seek it, to listen when they wish for you to hear. But sometimes, all you can do is just to wait, to be that figure that's just there, because if they themselves do not want to patch the broken pieces, nothing can.

Expectations! Expectations!

2011-10-27T20:04:00.002+08:00

LIKE WAT THE HECK?!
Why didn't I know that there's a live action series for Ouran High School Host Club?
Jeez. Like Jeeeez! And to think that it's a completed series as well!
Just eleven episodes. And I think the one acting for Haruhi (Kawaguchi Haruna) is extremely cute.
I have my doubts about the one acting for Tamaki (Yamamoto Yusuke). But I guess that's because Tamaki is just the handsomest out of the Host Club, so expectations are darn high. He'll have to work really hard to win the fangirls.
But yeah, eleven episodes in total, I guess it's not bad. I'll make sure I have them all before I watch them.
Oh, the joys of being at my auntie's house.

I'm really tired today.
Which is strange, considering that if I spend the night with Shep, we either don't sleep or have very little of it - but we slept early last night but I was still sleepy.
Had a good recovery after class today as well. And due to light rain, tennis club was just sitting there watching the guys play. I was a bit disappointed. I wanted to smack that ball hard against the wall today.

Anyway, another news that just came to me today!
Sunrise has/is releasing a new Gundam series named Gundam AGE. Only three episodes so far since the beginning of this month.
Definitely will follow that.
I've been looking through the Gundam Wikia, and had a look at the new Gundam they released.
Sure, characters are awesome. Storylines are important. But one is a Gundam fan because of the Gundams. And I have to say, I was rather disappointed with what I saw.

For starters, apparently the story is set where mankind has been living in space colonies for several CENTURIES now. Which immediately puts it beyond Gundam SEED/Destiny world. And then there are these Unknowns that suddenly attacks humankind (wars on Earth have long ceased by now) and what was the first Gundam that was introduced?
Something under the name of AGE-1 Gundam AGE-1 Normal.

It looks so much like the Strike Gundam from GS/D.

Okay, fine. Even I love the simplicity and the colour scheme. It's also similar to the Exia in Gundam 00.

And I like the fact that it turn into different forms, like the original Strike Gundam. Brings back memories of nostalgia and stuff with the original Gundam SEED before Kira became all-high-and-mighty-and-undefeatable in Gundam SEED Destiny.

But look at the specifications and my expression was "WUT? ._."

A DODS rifle, two beam sabers and a shield. The rifle can also shoot only several shots before powering out. Like... that's it? But I thought, okay, never mind, even the original Strike Gundam had only two anti-air CIWS and two Armour Schneiders.

But when equipped with packs, the Strike can be either Aile Striker, Sword Striker and Launcher Striker. And his weapons were COOL. And with mankind living in space colonies for no more than a century, even it had the decency to install CIWS.

But yeah, like said, I gave the AGE-1 Normal the benefit of the doubt. According to Gundam Wiki, AGE-1 Normal can have two different forms, namely the AGE-1T Gundam AGE-1 Titus and AGE-1S Gundam AGE-1 Spallow.

So I looked it up.

And guess what happened to AGE-1 Normal? Well:

On your left is Titus. On your right is Sparrow.

LIKE WUT IS DIS SUNRISE?
Look at how strange those mobile suits are. The red one looks like some kid has stuck lollipops on it. ._.
Titus's armaments consists of two Beam Lariats, six Knee Kicks and eight Shoulder Tackles. The Knee and Shoulder thing are just emitters that enhance their strength. Which basically means that apart from the Lariats, the Titus has to karate and tae-kwon-do his way out of battle.
The Spallow, on the other hand, is equipped with only a Sigil Blade and a Needle Gun, which are launches concealed in the knees.
WUT IS THIS?
Where are the beam sabers? The anti-ship strike swords? The rocket launchers? The missiles? The cannons? The boomerangs? The shield generators?
I rest my case. -.-"

I thought, of course, that maybe the Enemy has better Gundams.
It would be so awesome to have a weak Gundam fighting against one that is so much more powerful than it.
So I looked it up, of course. Unknown Enemy currently has three known mobile suits, named the Gafran, Zedas and Baqto. All three are transformable mobile suit units.
I'll just show you Gafran. I'm afraid if I put Zedas and Baqto in this post, I may break down in tears.

Oh, SUNRISE, what are you doing? T__T
I know the anime is only three episodes at the moment. But you're letting me down hard.
The first thought when I saw Gafran in MS form was "OMG, Howl's Moving Castle!"
You know, that curse on Howl that made him look like some big crow.

Yeah, exactly.

But I like Gafran's specs the best. It has two beam sabers, two beam vulcans, one beam rifle, one beam cannon and an optional Colony Destroyer which, like its name, is an awesome weapon of destruction like YEAH.
Don't mention Zedas and Baqto to me. T_T Zedas has a sword (its tail), two beam sabers and two beam vulcans while Baqto just has one beam rifle, beam vulcan and beam saber.

The only thing I kinda-sorta like about Gundam AGE is the AGE technology. Taken from Gundam Wiki:

AGE Device
A memory unit passed down through the Asuno family that contains basic conceptual data on the “AGE System” and the blueprints for the Gundam. The data is original research the Asuno family compiled, a combination of technological records accumulated from the past: something that should be called “a book of secrets for the secrets of an art” as it is something that far surpasses everything else.

AGE System
Flit added the concept of self-evolution to the digitization of the Asuno family’s research on the mystery of evolution of living things. As the system collects data through combat, it evolves. In order to grow with the pilot, it became a unique system for that registered pilot. Currently, this system is only installed on the Gundam that is piloted by the main character, Flit.

AGE Builder
Highly advanced machine developed alongside the AGE System that uses data input from the system to rapidly construct weapons and equipment for the Gundam AGE.

I guess Flit and his Gundam, the AGE-1 Gundam AGE-1 Normal will have more surprises in store with us. I have faith in Sunrise.
I hope Gundam AGE will surpass Gundam SEED/Destiny and Gundam 00 by lightyears or something.
In the meantime, I should watch those three episodes and make further judgements as it develops.

Final Effect

2011-10-26T22:51:00.000+08:00

We're in Klang!
Me and Shep are in Klang!
Oh, how awesome it is to have my BFFFF at my house, bonding with my family members. XD
We should do this more often. And be the unofficial housemates.

Watched the miniseries of Battlestar Galactica at Shep's house last night.
Surprisingly, it was better than I thought it was.
Not that I didn't think it wasn't good. But I have the tendency to somewhat scoff at series and films that focuses on Sci-Fi setting... heck, even with books, I tend to avoid Sci-Fi even though I personally love writing it.
But for the miniseries, I think it was quite good. Definitely pulled on my dramatic strings. I cringed so many times. And felt like punching the laptop, only Shep would probably put a bullet through my brain first.
But yeah. I enjoyed it. And I'm looking forward to watching more.

We presented our TITAS assignment yesterday.
It was... awful. Truly awful.
Oh, BM, please improve soon. I'd watch more Malay dramas to improve myself, but I do not have the time, seriously.
And my writing has been postponed. I have failed to continue the 10k per week pace. Maybe I'll manage 10k per two weeks instead.
Dearest readers, forgive me.
And also those who have been waiting for me to reply to your PMs and e-mails. I'm so sorry!
I'll try and get life in control again as soon as I can.
And hopefully recover writing the 10k per week pace.

By the way, Shep is awesome.
The BFFFF. The one who screens me away when there are adult scenes in movies. The one who, for some reason I cannot understand, still sticks to me despite my emotional drama every single DAY.

The frogs are singing so beautifully tonight.

Run, Dream

2011-10-24T23:34:00.000+08:00

"You are a fading dream, but one that has been touched by reality. Run, dream. Run on into the daylight. And walk into reality."

- Yojimbo (Final Fantasy X)

I AM SO HAPPY!
There are a few things that can be checked off from my list now.
For starters, TITAS assignment is DONE! DONE!
And quite honestly, I am well and truly amazed when Ilon texted me just now, saying that the thing doesn't need editing. O.o
I succeeded in writing a grammatically correct essay. How... unbelievable is that?

Second success is that the Young Scriptor Club is finally launched!
Not officially yet. By officially, I mean it's currently launched without posters and flyers. And we haven't launched the competition yet.
But the website is up and running, and open for anyone to contribute their works.
So if you're an LG220 or LG221 student reading this, wanting to submit something (in English, mind you), then feel free! =D
To the rest, feel free to visit the page at youngscriptorclub.blogspot.com

I've had an interesting weekend, staying at Shep's place.
Met her family. XD How cool is that?
I have to say, they're quite an awesome bunch. I really liked them.
Though it was unexpected. And I was intimidated. But it was great. I had fun.

After this, I guess I'll be studying for Marketing.
And ohmygoodness, it's nearing the end of October and I haven't even completed the Baling assignment for BTAR. x__x
Life is busy and full as usual, but with a touch of quality and high degree of love as I've always liked it.
But for now, I wanna clean my room.
Toodles, peeps!

LIKE WAT?

2011-10-21T12:41:00.000+08:00

The cost of upgrading the RAM of my laptop from 2GB to 4GB is RM53.

RM53 = 2GB DDR3 RAM.

The cost of replacing my Nokia battery with an original one is RM120+.

LIKE WAT THE HECK.

Shouldn't it be the other way around?

Just a small rant. XD

By the way, the laptop has a new name.

Say hello to T.R Justice.

J-FEST 2011

2011-10-21T10:41:00.003+08:00

@ J-FEST 2011

As promised, a more lengthy post about the awesome J-FEST 2011.

It's the first time JLS (Japanese Language Society) holds their bunkasai outside UiTM, and overall, it was a heck of a success.

Cosplay and singing competitions, quiz trivias, booths, yukata snapshots, calligraphy and manga-drawing competitions, sudoku speed contests, COSPLAYERS, yakisoba and onigiris - it was all heck awesome.

Despite all the problems we had to go through and endure, it was a fun day.

Now we're planning on doing it bigger, and after what I experienced, I'd definitely join again.

Though being an emcee is real tiring work.

Not to mention there wasn't time for me to go around snapping pictures and getting pictures with the cosplayers.

Or even going to the booths! I would have bought so much onigiri and sushi.

The cosplay competition was won by two cosplayers - brothers cosplaying characters from Guilty Gears.

They were just awesome. I wasn't that surprised they won.

Second place was won by Cloud Strife and Squall Leonheart.

Final Fantasy will continue to dominate the wonders of the cosplay world. XP

Awesome, aren't they?
As usual, I made new friends.
I made quite a lot of new cosplayer friends. And I also made friends with a lot of the JLS members.
I think, for an activity that was launched purely by students, it turned out to be rather brilliant.
I wish we can have another one going on again.
GAMP 2011 is coming up this weekend, but it will be held in MMU.
Me not knowing how to get there and wanting to spend more quality tiemz with Shep made me decide not to go.
But I'll definitely be going to Comic Fiesta in December!

Someone asked me how I manage to do all these things.
Being head of presents for J-FEST as well as emcee for the day, heading Young Scriptors Club which will probably launch this weekend, joining ALS Speaker Team, joining events held by APPLES, writing 10k per week, juggling assignments and coursework...
Well, I can only say one thing.
Have that purpose in life. Especially if you have a special someone in your life, try and look past that person and just go ahead and see how much more brilliance and love life has to offer.
Happiness does not come from a person. It could, but at the same time, it's not everything.
Happiness is the ability to smile even through the worst conditions.
That's why I define happiness as being a choice.

Heck, people, look around you.
See the amount of people who you haven't made friends with yet.
See the amount of knowledge just waiting for you to learn.
See the amount of things you have yet to experience.
Live life. Live it full. Look back ten years from now and smile. Look back another ten years and beam with joy.
Stop all the depression, it's a waste of time. There's so much you have yet to achieve and do.

See you guys!

J-FEST on NTV7!

2011-10-17T23:59:00.001+08:00

Whooo!
We got publicity!
J-FEST 2011 was on NTV7! Unfortunately for me, I didn't have the chance to see it aired, but who cares? =D
We got the publicity, man!
Hopefully, I'll be able to obtain the video sooner or later.

Anyway, have you ever had those sort of moments where you ask too many questions?
I'm in the mood of wanting to know anything and everything right now.
A great deal of bonding tiemz with Shep today. And sleepover tomorrow! =D
This will be a fun week.
I thought Deepavali is this week. I had been so ready for that break, but I guess it was just wishful thinking on my part.
In any case, I'm now one of the AJK's for the coming Night of Excellence.
Hope it'll be a heck of a lot grander than it was last semester.
It's funny. One moment I'm free, the next I'm pulled into activities again.

Oh, life is fun.
We had a small discussion today. The golden question:
"What is happiness?"
My definition of happiness is that happiness is a choice.
You choose to be happy. If you want to be happy, you will be. It's all the matter of how you react to things.
Maybe I'll talk about happiness for my speech for public speaking tomorrow.

This post is so quick and random. My eyes are tired. Good night, everyone!

A Teaser Blog Post

2011-10-15T21:07:00.002+08:00

@ Harbour Place, Klang.

Japanese Festival (Bunkasai) J-FEST 2011.

Organised by Japanese Language Society and Harbour Place.

These are just some teaser pictures until I have the time and energy to write something more lengthy.
Who knows, maybe tonight, but I have 6k to write and I'm so exhausted it's not funny.
That was my first time wearing a yukata, borrowed by my awesome sensei.
I think I know how it feels to wear a corset now. From 10AM till 6PM with my back straight, unable to bend down... it kills.
Not to mention surviving the day with nothing but a bun and 1 1/3 of an onigiri. Plus water. Horror, I tell you.
I was one of the emcees for the day, as well as the head of the presents.
So... yeah. I'm tired.
I have 6k to write tonight, a minute meeting to prepare, a ten-hour module tomorrow and an assignment to hand in on Monday.
Gambatte ne! The bottom line is that the day was just absolutely awesome like heck.

Give me some time! I'll write an extended entry for today, insyaAllah.
Thanks to those who gave me your support! =D And those who came!

A WALKING ZOMBIE

2011-10-12T23:11:00.001+08:00

I DID NOT SLEEP.
I don't know if this is one of my phases of not being able to sleep.
Two nights ago, I couldn't sleep until past 3AM.
Last night, I didn't sleep at all... despite having Shep there. <3333 (eww, I know -.-")
I wonder how I'll fare tonight. Hopefully, I'll get some sleep.

I wanna talk a bit about the wonders of being human.
It's something that I've always known, but not something I've ever really noticed.
There's a difference between the two, you know.
Almost the same as how you can see, but not observe.
Or how you can hear, but not listen.

Anyway, I wanna talk about the delights of being human and the joys of machinery.
Wrex the Motorbike has been going through some rough developments lately.
And I have to say, not all the changes are ones I particularly liked.
The brakes no longer squeal, but it's a little harder to step down on, for one thing.
But the most recent change was that the workshop tightened the handlebars today.
Apparently, the handles were a little loose, especially when I hit 80km/h.
So they tightened it. And as a result, they no longer feel loose... but the downside is that Wrex now has something akin to super-sensitive handles.
I mean, all I need to do is to tilt the handles by two degrees, and I'll turn. LIKE WAT THE HECK.
It's like learning how to ride a bicycle all over again. I can't get myself properly balanced, especially when I'm doing below 10km/h.

But then I realised the wonders of being human.
Once upon a time, the handles were never loose. But when they were, the memory of the different body parts kicked in and I got used to it after a day.
I have little doubt and a lot of faith in myself that after a day or two, Wrex will feel normal again.
It's amazing, what the human body can do... wouldn't you agree?
Machinery is always designed to assist humans. They are built in such a way that they fit in with what we need.
But at the same time, we are designed to adapt with whatever is thrown to us.
Sure, a simple tweak of the motorbike isn't THAT big a thing, but it's still a great thing to take notice of.
We humans are better than any machines designed by mankind. Power of God.

On a different note, things have been rolling pretty nicely lately.
Got the hampers wrapped and decorated with nice ribbons. All it needs are little touch-ups and they're ready for Saturday!
My Sensei lent me her yukata today. It is honestly one of the most beautiful clothing I've ever laid my eyes on.
I can't wait for Saturday.
And I'm glad Dr. Bernadette postponed the deadline for her assignment to Monday next week.
I love the time spent with Shep and Nurus last night, as I usually do.
I love the new juniors that have just joined the ALS Speaker Team.
This week, overall, has just been amazing.

But then, there's no use in you getting depressed over your life.
Learn to smile and embrace the day. Live like you've never lived before.

A Thoroughly Awesome Day

2011-10-10T23:17:00.003+08:00

Because I'm heck tired and I wish to write another 2k before I get to sleep, I'll just list today in bullet form and hope you all enjoy reading.

Monday class starts at 10:30AM.
Had a productive day at the library. Library = Good Mood =D
Had enjoyable bonding tiemz overall.
THE MOST AWESOME MARKETING CLASS EVER = 15 minutes in class, 30 minutes at PC Fair, and that's the end of Marketing for today!
Got a new laptop lock + USB Hub.
Had a surprise birthday party for Lyana, the old dear. XP
Had a great shopping day at Daiso, Harbour Place, Klang. (RM515 in a day O.o)
Due to miscalculation, I have a new pair of slippers.
Discovered that morning class tomorrow is canceled. <3
Discovered something about myself... connected to my apparent instability issues.
Cross-Cultural assignment deadline postponed to Monday next week.

It's amazing how lack of interest can make you progress through some things.
I was dragging myself through the Cross-Cultural assignment yesterday.
And through my struggles, I wrote 3k to the story, that is now officially on 166,000 words.
My aim is 2k tonight, but I really actually want to write a full 7k so I complete that 10k mark.
Wish me luck, darlings!

...Another night at Shep's place tomorrow. Oh, we'll have fun. XP

Kind People :)

2011-10-03T20:47:00.000+08:00

Despite last week being full of tragedies and the like, I have quite a lot of things to be grateful for.
If you've read my blog long enough, you'll probably have learned that lesson by now - that no matter WHAT happens, there's always something to be grateful for.

I have several things to be grateful for regarding last week, but I'll talk about just one event in particular.
On Wednesday, I was down with a rather heavy killer fever that I thought was just going to make me bedridden for the next of the week.
Anyway, I was so out-of-it, I actually accidentally left the motorbike keys behind at the seat lock when I was put the helmets away (I always bring two, in case if anyone needs to go anywhere).
So yeah, by the time we went in marketing class, I just couldn't stand it any longer, and decided to go home.
...And then realised that my keys were missing.
I was worried, of course I was. I immediately knew that I accidentally left them behind at the motorbike.
So I went down with my classmate, and all the while I'm wondering if the motorbike is still there or if someone has taken it away.
It was still there. Thankfully. But the keys weren't, and when I searched for them, I found them in one of the helmets and bade my friend goodbye so she could return to class.
I thought I might have dropped the keys when I was storing the helmets or something, but when I was about to kick the motorbike running, I noticed a very small piece of paper that was slit by the ignition and I pulled it out.
I saved the slip, though I have misplaced it at the moment and can't provide the picture for it. But the slip basically said:

"Kunci motor dalam helmet"

Direct translation: Motor key is in the helmet.
Someone hid the keys for me and did not take the motorbike away.
It's amazing how such a small act of kindness really touches your heart, seriously.
I'll look for that slip - I saved it, and I don't think I'll throw it away, ever.

Anyway, the point of this post is, out there, in this world, there are nice people who would help even strangers.
Be one of those people. :3

On a different note, had a good time yesterday even though I wish it could have lasted longer.
Small outing with Shep, Nurus, Sari, and Shep's friend. =D
Thanks, Nurus, for the food! I still miss you, you silly idiot - that meeting was nowhere long enough for us.

On a different note, it seems as though I have a friend who hasn't forgotten my constant love and need for bookmarks. 8D

I have six new ones now, courtesy of Ilon. Thanks man! XD

Return of the Mai-y

2011-10-01T16:59:00.000+08:00

I need to give a fair warning to dearest readers: THIS WILL BE AN EXTREMELY LONG POST.
Seriously, after a month and two weeks (roughly) without my own laptop, there's just so much I want to write about!
Starting from the beginning, I guess the most reasonable introduction would be to introduce you all to the newest replacement of what was once my three-year-old lover:

Meet DELL Inspiron E5030.
This laptop is a she, ladies and gentleman. I still haven't found a perfect name for her yet.
Anyway, she was originally my sister's laptop, bought only a few months ago before she started her matriculation. But the little twerp doesn't like big laptops, so we've exchanged - I buy a new, smaller laptop for her in exchange for this one.
It's not as if she has high demands. A simple laptop with basic functions and a reasonably small size should do the trick.
So yeah, thanks Mas! 8D
I guess tonight, for the umpteenth time this week (I've been exchanging between so many laptops recently), I need to clean this laptop.

Introductions aside, the BTAR camp last weekend was heck awesome.
I'm not joking - HECK AWESOME.
I had an awesome roommate, Sha. I had a great time with all my friends, and I was glad as ever to see them again, though I wish the whole Group 4 was able to obtain the scholarship.
Guys, we need to arrange a reunion soon, alright?
Pictures, pictures:

For the first time ever, I had to travel by train.
Do you know how much of a noob I was?
I didn't know the right stations, the right stops, the right way to buy the tickets - I felt like such a dork.
But I survived. Took the KTM to Kuala Lumpur Central, then LRT to Masjid Jamek, interchange, LRT to Hang Tuah station, then walked approximately 7 minutes to Olympic Sports Hotel, Kuala Lumpur.
By the time I arrived, I thought my shoulders were going to fall off.

The room. 8D Nowhere near as awesome as the last place we went to, but I stopped caring about that when exhaustion took in - I was just glad there was a bed!

There were many activities we did. The morning walks were... interesting, to say the least.

But the one I enjoyed the most was a visit to Tunku Abdul Rahman's memorial:

It was my first time there.
Visiting Tunku's old house, his office, looking over the aged artefacts and everything was just amazing.
Needless to say, I was beat and my legs felt like jelly by the end of it, but I enjoyed the whole thing

The following week, this week that has just left us, has been extremely busy.
...Not to mention it seemed to be one of the unluckiest weeks I've ever had in my life, but I won't go into too much detail.
Let's just say, life has been so eventful that this BTAR camp seemed to have taken place a month ago instead of just a week ago.
Like, jeez.

I've been busy with preparations for the APB Rumah Terbuka Hari Raya which took place on Friday.
A lot of changed plans at the ultimately last minute, and I have to thank the fact that I'm currently switching between two houses from day to day at the moment.
Like, honestly.
I also need to thank the motorbike for being able to withstand all my quirkiness. Oh, Wrex, what would I do without you?
Trying to survive the week without my own transport would have been horrifying.

Anyway, the day went extremely well, and there were many lecturers who loved the module. :D
I'm really happy, seriously. First time attempting something like this, and it was a success.
A big shout-out to my six darling AJK's! They've been great help, without which I'd have probably been the drama queen with flailing arms as I usually am (though I think I was on Friday even, but never mind XD).

Credit to Neb for the picture!

So, what's the plan for this following week?
For starters, I need to get in contact with Harbour Place and begin the preparations for the presents for the coming J-FEST on the 15th October.
I also need to get ahead of schedule and read extra chapters of the biography, which I have left behind while staying behind at my auntie's place.
I need to get back on track with Dr. O's assignment, especially now I have a laptop of my own.
I need to finish sewing the Yukata for the J-FEST.
I need to design posters, flyers, banners and create a few logos for the ALS Speaker Team.
I need to start and launch the Young Scriptors Club, starting with the development of the website.
Have I missed anything? I bet I have.

By the way, if you've stalked me long enough, you'll know that there's a beautiful girl I loved to take care of back in the UK, named Amirah. She was two years old then. I met her again about two weeks ago. As I had guessed, she is very pretty.

Current Life As It Is

2011-09-26T20:34:00.000+08:00

Life is currently just as how I absolutely love it: busy, hectic, and tiring.
I've always loved to be busy with stuff, since I was in high school.
AND GOODNESS KNOWS, BUSY I AM INDEED.

Yayasan Tunku Abdul Rahman camp on the 23rd-25th.
Loads of fun, really enjoyable, pictures coming soon, hopefully.
APB's Rumah Terbuka Hari Raya coming up on Friday.
I need to create a module for the Mentor/Mentee event, now thankfully with some minions under me (evil laugh).
Japanese Festival coming up on 15th October. Heading the department of gifts and presents.
Young Scriptors Club now official under APB. Gotta start with that soon.
And Public Speaking coming up as well!

Currently on 146,000 Words, with an increase of roughly 10k per week.
That, along with studies, tennis and some biographies to read.

I love my life! =D
Will post longer soon (hopefully). There's just too much going on.

Going Back To The UK!

2011-09-18T01:56:00.002+08:00

@ Kuala Lumpur International Airport
I wish I can say that I was there to board a flight to the UK, but I cannot.
My uncle is going there for three years. The adorable kid you see there is my two-going-to-three-year-old cousin - my youngest cousin, who I won't see in a very, very long time. T__T
But I had fun with him today. Played around in the indoor playground, and he wouldn't stop crying out "Aeroplane! Aeroplane!" while pulling my hand to follow along.
I'll miss him dearly. Take care, little Alif.
It's a strange feeling, really.
Usually, it's me who leaves. This time, I'm there to watch someone else depart.
It's really strange.

In any case, I'll probably join them soon.
I've got plans, and I'm working it out.
Maybe in two years, I'll be back in the UK if all goes well. Hopefully so.

Oh yeah, just because I can:

A week ago @ iCity, Shah Alam.
Me, my cousin, his wife and his son, Raziq.
Another happy day with a small family member, running around, holding hands, and watching him smile and laugh and play like the innocent, happy child he is. <3

I love kids.

Ouch..?

2011-09-14T00:05:00.001+08:00

It's amazing when someone knows your deepest wants, hidden deep within the depths of your private heart. It's amazing when they seem to know you better than you know yourself.

Engineering T.T

2011-09-11T00:23:00.001+08:00

Before you continue reading, I'd like to point out that this will be one of those 'if only' rants that might make you raise your eyebrows, so if you know what's good for you, you should turn and press the 'back' button.

If only I'm an Engineering student (I'm sure my dad would feel smug if he reads this). But really, if only. Then I'd probably have a good idea about hydraulics, plugs, pumps, circuit boards and all that techy sort of jazz (and its relationship with one another) would make my writing more sophisticated (dad would frown here) and would actually make ME understand what the heck I've been writing about these last 140+k words.

I know wanting to write good fiction seems hardly the right reason to wish that one is an engineering student, but there you go.I have very basic knowledge on engineering though. Hinde House was an engineering school, which I found to be ironic because dad, with his studies in engineering, had kinda sorta wanted me to continue his legacy with the oil and gears and awesomeness. Which, being the rebel I am, I completely refused by firstly going into law and finally finding myself being an English major.

I guess my ability to understand basic engineering back in school meant that I at least have some of his genes, if not his inherited passion for gears. I built a prototype model of a rather streamlined car, after all.

Which leads me to say, maybe it's best that I'm an English student.
By mastering the language, I can study engineering. 8D
You can study anything with the power of language!

...
Which leads me to point this question to the general public: in a joint in a piece of machinery (let's say a metal elbow), is there a possibility of a hydraulic pump bursting and reducing friction to nought in whatever gears were working, rendering the joint useless with its inability to move due to lack of friction?

I love being an English student.
Pretty soon, I'd probably write one of these again and say 'If only I'm a Medical student'.

BLAAANNNKKKK

2011-09-08T18:02:00.001+08:00

Yeah, my mind is a blur.Alhamdulillah, the internet is installed. Finally, if you ask me.Classes start on Monday,I haven't even checked the timetable yet. And have no intention of doing so.My fictional life is too awesome at the moment for me to feel excited about classes.130k in less than two months. It's the most I've written, ever.I just hope the numbers won't decrease when the semester starts.

Salam AidilFitri Merdeka!

2011-09-03T18:46:00.004+08:00

So yeah, Eid Mubarak, everyone! :D
Sorry it's taking me so long to post here - life has been as full and busy as heck, and I'm enjoying it. <3
My days has been filled with more writing, as well as the raya-ing stuff.
I've hit 100k, and it's not even pretty much half-way through the story. x__x;;
Still no new laptop, but I don't mind. Life has been too awesome for me lately.

Anyway, this is a short post because I have a long e-mail to send to Mr. Special a.k.a my stepdad.
Just, Selamat Hari Raya AidilFitri, and with all the sincerity, Maaf Zahir & Batin. Please forgive me for all my wrongdoings. :')

A picture of me and my cousins (not all of them).
X enjoy, family Mak Lang balik awal sangat, n my family pun balik awal sebab fobia pencuri + grill x lengkap pasang lagi. T__T

Thief = New Laptop

2011-08-24T08:30:00.002+08:00

Yeah, I'm not joking.
I'm getting a new laptop soon.
A thief broke into the house and stole my laptop a few days ago.
I'm not depressed. Nor did I shed that many tears. But I am absolutely frustrated with what happened.
You know one of the worst parts of it?
I actually bumped into him while he was doing the stealing.
I was climbing the stairs when he appeared out of my room, clutching my laptop against his chest like it's a holy book or something.
Strange thing is that I didn't run back down or call for help. I just carried on climbing the stairs until I reached the landing, and I watched him.
He was a few inches taller than me, he was black (when I say black, I do mean black, and not dark brown). Most disgustingly, he was shirtless.
One minute he was across the landing. The next minute he was right in front of me, and we were both lost for words - or should I say, lost for actions.
I didn't scream. He didn't run. Neither of us attacked.
We just stood there like two rotten cabbages, unsure of what to do.
It was then that I screamed, finally, many moments too late.
First time I screamed, he didn't seem to know what he should do. Run? Hide? Knock me out?
Second time I screamed, he ran away.
Along with my laptop.
My unread e-books.
My unfinished novels.
My music collection.
My pictures and videos.
Life throws so many weird experiences.

...
A few hours later, my phone rang.
I received music to my ears, in a way.
I am now a Tunku Scholar.
Syukur, Alhamdulillah.
My laptop was taken away, but on the same day, I received a scholarship.
I am happy. =D

What He Said

2011-08-18T15:30:00.003+08:00

"I don't need to worry about losing my feelings. I'll just fall in love with you all over again."

Lalalalala~

Merits to those who know who said this. XP

The Word Is "Awesomesauce"

2011-08-12T01:06:00.003+08:00

I've been on a roll lately.
Forget NaNoWriMo, I've written around 70k+ in less than three weeks and still going! :D
This is honestly turning into a personal record, and I'm just very, very happy. XD

Have you ever read something that's so terrible it's brilliant?
I just did. About an hour ago. I can't remember the last time a story could literally make my stomach ache due to the peals of laughter that threatened to escape me.
Pure awesomesauce, I'm telling you.

I don't know why I'm writing this.
I guess it's due to my imagination wanting to take a break but my fingers still wants to type, so the blog is a ready scapegoat.
I suppose I can come up with a little rant/opinion here. About series. I don't wanna focus on anime when I say "series", but I'll most likely use it as an example.

I have mixed feelings about series.
WHY?
With a series, the thing can only go two ways: a complete ending, or an ending with a bunch of plot holes.
I love plot holes, I have to admit, because I like fanfictions. There's nothing more addicting than reading a very-well written fanfiction of the characters/story that you can't get enough of, really. And really awesome fanfictions usually sprout from writers who can spot holes in the plot of the original and uses it to come up with something wonderful and amazing where you get a lot of interpretations of the mysterious things that were never explained to you in the canon (canon meaning the original).

...Yet at the same time, I love series which has ended completely, no holes.
Series like these include Warriorcats, Harry Potter, and my all-time favourite, Fullmetal Alchemist.
There's just... the series. And that's it. No matter how awesome the plot you cooked up, it's merely an addition to the original, and it's usually not good enough unless if the author puts the story in an Alternate Universe, which is a different thing entirely.

So yeah. I don't know.
It's a tough question, really.
Do you prefer stories with plot holes where you can make up your own ideas and opinions regarding the matter?
Or do you prefer a complete ending, all strings tied, nothing left unexplained?
Both are equally appealing in their own ways.

Anyway, as a side-note, I apologise to those who tried to contact me via handphone and failed. With me constantly switching houses, living in two places at once, I came to the decision that it's simpler, easier and much better to leave the handphone charger at one house and just leave it there. If the battery dies, it dies. And I'd worry about the missed calls when I get it recharged again. XD Just leave a message if you can't get through, I'll get back to you insyaAllah. Don't rely on the internet to find me right now. It's still not installed in the new house.

Toodles! =D

2011-08-06T16:37:00.001+08:00

I apologise.
The things that occupied me lately has made me forgot to wish you all the best for this year's Ramadhan.
Honestly, I am happy. I am very happy that I can once again meet my favourite month of all.
Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan. Ramadhan Mubarak, everyone.
I wish we can all take the opportunity in being the best we can be during this month, and change ourselves for the better in our everlasting battle. :')
I love you all!

Stuck In Limbo

2011-08-06T13:58:00.002+08:00

Limbo. n. - An uncertain period of awaiting a decision or resolution; an intermediate state or condition

I guess many of you have heard of the word "limbo" before.
And no, I'm not referring to the dance type of limbo. XD
...Nor am I referring to the limbo within the Christianity belief.
The "limbo" I'm referring to is that moment-in-between. That particular time when you're waiting for something to happen after something major happens. I often refer to it as "the time of the waiting game".
Anyway, why am I talking about limbo? Because I'm currently stuck in it. T__T

Around a week ago, we finally moved. Well... I guess I can say around 90% of us moved, while the other 10% is still in Puncak Alam.
All the important stuff is gone. The beds, wardrobes, books, Playstation, games, fridge, furniture - they're all gone to the new house.
Due to some problems, however, we cannot move there yet 100%. So I'm practically stuck in limbo. We've been going back and forth, sleeping at that house one night, and sleeping at this house one night. It's kinda driving me nuts. XD
I guess I'm rather grateful we haven't moved completely yet though. I'd hate to part from the internet right now, when I'm hitting all the high K's with my writing.

Ah well.
The time will come, insya-Allah.
In any case, it's my dad's birthday today. :D
Happy Birthday to him!